Talking Bill Gates Blues or Curtains for Bill Gates by P.J. Skinner


Bill Gates died and to heaven did go
St. Peter said, Bill, there's one thing that I've got to know
You can choose Heaven or Hell, he said with a wink
Have a look at both, and tell me what you think.
(Make the right choice though, it's a decision for eternity)

So he went in through that Golden Gate
The sight before him, both quiet and sedate
Angels all around, kneeling and a praying
Or sat on clouds, with their harps a playing
(Nice but kinda dull - like a snail on valium,)

In Hell the sun shone down on a clear blue sea
There were golden beaches, as far as he could see
The women were beautiful and the beer was free
There was money growing from every tree
(Everything a man could want and then some more)

Now Bill returned to the Golden Gate
Said to St. Peter, I've decided on my fate
I don't want Heaven, it's Hell for me
Cause Hells just perfect, as perfect as can be
(All those Beaches, Babes and Sun swayed our Bill)

Now he's back in Hell, but all's not right
No Babes, no Beaches, and it's always night
No free beer, just aggravation
Things ain't right, it's just pure frustration
(Bill thought Hell had been misrepresented - and that's not honest)

So Bill wrote to God, to complain about his lot
God said, Bill, you're stuck with what you've got
Should have seen the sign on Hell, not those sweet diversions
It said contained inside, the 'preview version'
(That's B for Beta - liable to change - Not the real thing!)

Bill Gate's in Hell, things still going wrong
As a warning to others I wrote this song
So now before you make any decision
Always wait for the final revision