jacqui c - I think if you read the small print (in Venusian)at the end of the errors and omissions slip tucked inside "Learn to Speak Martian in 185,000 Easy Lessons", you will find that JoHn was one of the consultants for the book.
MrsDuck and myself were at the Hull (Sea Fever) shanty festival over the weekend, and so missed most of the Mudcat absence and the Martian attacks. Whilst we were at 'Ull we did not see John at any time. My suspicion is that he was too busy to attend. I believe (but keep my suspicions just between you and me!) that instead of being a mild drinking Curry Driver, he had pulled his underpant on over his trousers, tied a tablecloth around his neck and was out saving the World.
If you search through the anals of the World Press (Sunday Sport, the Mystic Seaport Bugle and the Scunthorpe Chronicle) you will find references to a mysterious figure named Captain Chaos carrying a load of concentrated bullshit (known as Crap'tonite) flying out through the doors of pubs at closing time. They say he complained that nobody believed him when he said that the green bug-eyed monsters were clever, because they were hiding behind the pink elephants...
I am not saying that this mysterious figure was JooHN, because I don't know! I just think it is strange that when you see this Captain Cahos you never see John at the same pub! (mingle mangle music)...
Live long and Prosper!
Quack!
Geoff the Duck.