Saturday night in Toledo Ohio is like being no place at all
They roll up the sidewalks precicely at ten
And the people who live there are not seen again

Save two lonely truckers from Great Falls Montana and a salesman from places unknown, 'ces unknown
All huddled together in downtown Toledo to spend the evening alone.
                              II
You ask me if I know Toledo Montana, I spent a week there one night
They have entertainment that will dazzle your eyes
You can sit in the bakery and watch the buns rise

So you sing the chorus and I'll sing the eulogy
And once sand for all get it right, get it right
Here's to the town of Toledo Ohio that dies every Saturday night
                      III
There once was a steamship that sank on Lake Erie
Not far from Toledo, they say
And one poor old sailor who washed up in town
told me quite frankly, he'd rather been drowned
(forgot the next 16 bars)
                        IV
But let us remember the folks from Toledo who unselfishly gave us the scales
"No springs, honest weight" that's the promise they made
So smile and be thankfull next time you get weighed."
"WIVE AND WET WIVE"    (live and let live)
let that be our motto and always let sleeping dogs, sleeping dog lie
Here's to the dogs of Toledo Ohio, "Ladies, we bid you goodbye"


My take on this is that it was written by a guy who just "struck out" in his quest for female companionship" and wrote the song in self defence an effort to justify his dreadful failure. I equate this with a batter who has just struck out ridiculing the pitcher who struck him out.

(in the U.K. the batsman who was just put out ridiculing the bowler who took his wicket")

I do think John Denver wrote and prformed this. I could be wrong.