This is without a doubt the strangest thread I have ever seen on the Mudcat. Avril, you have some guts, and that's for sure. Good luck with the practising, and if you want to learn to play the bodhran properly (it's an instrument after all), listen to John Jo Kelly from Flook, or Gino Lupari. I always liked the McPeakes for singing with the drum, but if it's not played well it can be like listening to someone scritching their nails down a blackboard. People in folk clubs tend to have heard a lot of that, and usually have little patience for it, quite rightly really; it's one of the most abused of instruments, and not easy to do right.
What I would do is learn one or two songs, and learn to do them well without accompaniment. Find a way to focus (I hate singing with my glasses on too, but messing around with bits of paper just confuses your body so it's not set up for singing well or performing to an audience, which is surely why you are there). Or get yourself an autoharp and use that to keep yourself in tune. Get a tape recorder of some kind and listen to yourself, visualise how you can improve your performance. People will be kind if you make an effort.
ps-I hope I never get on the wrong side of any of you! :-) I would find it very hard to cope with some of the personal attacks on this thread. Ouch. Peace and love chaps.