hi avril

don't let those bastards get to you. that dave bryant is so far up himself, his arse is in his mouth. yes, there is a folk mafia, and if you can't get past it, i suggest you join it. drink guinness, learn to sing a song about mining, and model yourself on some obscure singer from northumbria.

more than anything, if that dave gives you a hard time, offer to get him a beer. when youve paid for it, drop by the ladies'and turn it into a shandy. he's so pissed generally, he'll never notice (or at least he hasn't so far). because the mafia is so relentless in its pursuit of the hirsute, as opposed to the cute, i am writing this under a falsetto name.

and don't worry, avril, there's nothing wrong with having big breasts. they're a handy spot to hide the takings from Dave's wallet, at the end of the evening.

all my good thoughts and encouragement to you - keep singing!

gloria soame.