Winston, will you sit down, take a few deep breaths, and then kindly stuff it! If I want to go to Paris with a friend that is my business, not yours. I suggest that you save yourself the air fare and go pubbing instead, as is your usual wont. I am perfectly all right and having a wonderful time...away from the usual gossipping set in bloody Twillingsgate! I had planned to studiously ignore this silly discussion, but I don't particularly want you trailing around after me in Paris and interfering with my holiday.

Nigel, we are going to have to talk at some point, but this is really not the time for it. I had not expected your return from Iraq at this time. Do not do anything rash. Go home to London and get some rest. I will be in touch. I wish to emphasize that I am not in need of "rescuing" right now.

And that post from the supposed "Mme. Fifi" is undoubtedly one of my anonymous enemies in Twillingsgate trying to embarrass me. Utter rubbish. Disregard it entirely. Even jOhn from Hull could not have come up with something so ridiculous.

*PR