Flash, Bang, Wallop

Better late than never I s'pose.

FLASH BANG WALLOP
(Norm Allen)

David Heneker


All lined up in a wedding group, here we are for a photograph.
We're all dressed up in morning suits and trying not to laugh.
Since the early caveman in his verve took a trip to Gretna Green,
There's always been a photographer to record the happy scene.

Hold it! Flash, bang, wallop!
What a picture, click, what a picture, what a photograph,
Poor old soul, blimey what a bloke, hat blown off in a cloud of smoke
Clap hands! Stamp your feet. Bangin' on a big, bass drum.
What a picture, what a picture,
Rum tiddley um bum, bum, bum, bum,
Stick it in your fam-lee album.

The same thing happened long ago when man was in his prime,
And what went on we only know from the snaps he took at the time.
When Adam and Eve in their birthday suit(s) decided to get wed,
As Adam was about to taste the fruit, the man with the camera said,

Hold it! Flash, bang, wallop! What a picture! Click!
What a picture! What a photograph!
Poor, old Eve there with nothing on, face all red and the figleaf gone.
Clap hands!
Stamp your feet. Bangin' on the big, bass drum.
What a picture! What a picture!
Rum diddley um, bum, bum, bum, bum.
Stick it in your fam-lee album.

You've read it in the fol-ios or seen it in the Shakespeare Play,
How Juliette fell for Romeo in the merry month of May,
And as he climbed the orchard wall to reach his lady fair,
As he tumbled, she began to bawl as he traveled through the air.

Hold it! Flash, bang, wallop! What a picture! Click!
What a picture! What a photograph!
Poor, young chap! What a night he spent!
Tights all torn and his rapier bent.
Clap hands! Stamp your feet! Bangin' on a big, bass drum.
What a picture! What a picture!
Rum diddley bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
Stick it in your fami-lee album.

Hold it! Flash, bang, Wallop. What a picture! Click!
What a picture! What a photograph!

Poor, young chap! What a night he spent!
Tights all torn and his rapier bent.
Clap hands! Stamp your feet!
Bangin' on a big, bass drum.
What a picture! What a picture!
Rum diddley bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
Stick it in your fami-lee album.
Stick it in your fam-lee, stick it in your fam-lee, stick it in your fam-lee - album!