I've seen this 'ere s6k in action I 'ave and she's a right nasty lit'le creature wot carn't keep a civil tongue in 'er 'ead. If she was my daughter I'd give 'er a good swat on the ear, I would! I fink it's these kind of nasty types wot gives a bad name to 'Ull and that's why me and me Eddie 'ave moved away to Bath. 'Ull is full of swinish people wot ain't fit to be around and the daft buggers keep 'avin' carnal relations wiv each other and producin' more of their own kind! It's a bleedin' disgrace!

That John from 'Ull is the worst of the lot. 'E's barely even human. 'E ought to be confined to a ment'al institution and be makin' license plates or somefink like that.

As for pdq....'e's a pretenshious sod wiv a grugde against the world because 'e didn't grow up wiv a silver spoon in 'is mouth. I know 'is kind. 'E wants to hobnob wif the beautiful people and act like 'e's some kind of boffin or somefink. 'E finks 'e's sooo clever! Well, I fink e's a stupid git.

If my Eddie sat on 'im! Well...that would bring 'im down to size right fast! 'E wouldn't just be dead stupid then, 'E'd be dead, period, like the parrot in the old Monty Python skit.

Oy! Polly! Polly! Wake up! Polly! You stupid bird!

I carn't tell you 'ow 'appy I am that we was forced to leave 'Ull when that lit'le accident 'appened and get new digs in Bath! It was deliverance, disguised as disaster!

You nasty types in 'Ull can all just sod off!

- Olive Whatnoll