Since on your birthday you'll indulge'
With no glint of repentance,
For all the wicked things you'll do,
I hereby pronounce sentence.
Full twenty years or thirty,
I hereby sentence thee,
To dig among the cabbages,
And harvest the snow pea.
Neither forget the passionfruit,
The lemon nor the peach.
You'll be required to climb the tree
to get those out of reach.
And you shall prune the jasmine,
all at its proper stage,
And even fork the compost heap,
Yes! even at your age.
Ah, no sign of remorse I see,
In fact you look quite fine,
So garden till the day you drop,
somewhere past eighty nine.

                Excessive and extensive Hug! Jack Halyard