Why did the Chicken cross the road?

JOHN KERRY
The chicken intentionally mislead us into letting it cross the road.
I actually did vote for the chicken to cross the road, before I voted
against it. The chicken should have given the UN more time to inspect
the other side of the road before pre-emptively crossing it. I will
make sure that the chicken does not have to bear the full burden of
this unwarranted road crossing alone by enlisting the help of other
chickens like France and Germany.



GEORGE W BUSH
It does not matter why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road. The chicken is either
for us, or against us. Evildoer chickens will be hunted down on both
sides of the road and anyone found harboring these chickens would be
plucked.


DAN RATHER
An undisclosed but reliable capon has given me unverifiable documents
that prove that the chicken got preferential treatment and was
allowed to cross the road to avoid crossing the highway, and that the
chicken went AWOL and did not satisfactorily complete its road
crossing. While I don't know which side of the road these documents
came from and agree they are probably chicken scratch, I still
believe the information in them is true and you should trust me
because I'm Dan Rather and you're not.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been given access to the other side of the road.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on this side of the road has been polluted by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because the wheels of a
gas-guzzling SUV crushed it.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to do it. I'll bet some chicken-hugging
liberal out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
with crossing-the-road syndrome and wants taxpayers to foot the bill.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying insecurity and attraction to poultry.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads,
but also will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. The answer depends on
your definition of chicken.

HILLARY CLINTON
Even though I am the smartest woman in the world and know all there
is to know about everything, I do not know anything about any chicken
including the one allegedly found in my residence.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?