This isn't nasty, it's really kind of sweet. My dad taught me all of these.

There once was a farmer who took a young miss
Out back by the barn where he gave her a
Lecture on horses and chickens and eggs
And that's when he told her she had beautiful
Manners that suited a girl of her charms
A girl that he'd like to take in his
Washing and ironing and then if she did
They could get married and raise lots of

Sweet violets, sweeter than all the roses
Covered all over from head to toe,
Covered all over with sweet violets.

The girl told the farmer that he'd better stop
'Coz she'd call her father and he'd call a
Taxi and get there before very long
'Coz someone was doing his little girl
Right for a change and that's when he said,
Son if you'll marry you're better off
Single for it is my belief
Marriage will being nothing but

Sweet violets, etc.

Now that you're all going "aw" here's another one my dad taught me.

My Bonnie has tuberculosis
My Bonnie has only one lung
She coughs up her blood in a basket
And dries it and chews it for gum

Dentyne, Dentyne, she dries it and chews it for gum

My grandmother sells prophylactics
She punctures the heads with a pin
My grandfather does the abortions
My god how the money rolls in

Rolls in, rolls in, my god how the money rolls in rolls in

This is to the tune of "Colonel Bogey's March"

Hitler, he only had one ball
Goering had two, but they were small
Himmler was somewhat similar
but Goebbels had no balls at all.

Here's another goody about Hitler

Whistle while you work
Hitler is a jerk
Mussolini bit his weenie
Now it doesn't work.

This is to the tune of Freres Jacques:

Marijuana, Marijuana
LSD, LSD
College kids're making it
High school kids're taking it
Why can't we? Why can't we?