So much catching up to do..and I've only been away a couple of days..
First then.. Liz.. what on earth are you doing standing under the clock at Waterloo?.. you want to be freezing the whatsits off at Hinckley.. then I can get you warmed up in the Queen's Head, providing you give us the odd song/tune or two.
As for all you cat owners.. I think you need to make a choice.. tree or cat.. cat or tree.. if you really think you need both then you could try one of the following..

Lead booties for the feline (stops them climbing)
A rolled up newspaper with which to beat the said feline into submission any time it attempts to "mount" the tree
Perhaps the easiest option.. settle for a smaller tree mounted on a table etc so said thicko pussy doesn't realise it's there
If however you've got a really inquistive breed of fur ball you could always visit for a frontal labotemy (apologies re spelling) for your favourite cat
Personally I would use the sack and the nearest canal/river.. but eh.. I don't profess to be a cat lover, even at this time of year.. now I suspect that has wound up many springs.. so I'll sit back and see what happens

Charles.. what can I say?

In such matters of the heart
What true gentleman would impart
Such details of his heart's desire
That when such facts would then transpire
To announce his love to all the world
And expose their secret to all unfurled
Whilst disrecretion should be the trade to woo
And leave you all just wondering who

Peace to you all
Mick