Shane, it's time I broke my silence about you 'n me. It rips my heart to hear you rabbiting on about beer, Officer Dana and the police. I have been waiting for you for a long time, waiting for you to sober up, to clean up your act. But you just keep on destroying your brain cells, and embarassing me with your plain stupid behaviour. You come on all nice 'n cosy to officer Dana, I'm the one who cleans up your mess at the end of a long morning.

Catters, I read what he has said in this thread, and I am in shock. I am numb. I say to you, Shane: 'How can you be so stupid?'I tell you here and now that I am leaving.

A Canadian tabloid last week published allegations that Shane had most recently become involved with a 16-year-old waitress named Rebecca Weedon. Weedon alleged Shane had even begged her to persuade his wife Cheryl into having a threesome in a bid to save their 10-year-old relationship.

Shane, I have stood by you through thick and thicker. I have listened to your theories, your burps and your snoring. I have even argued with you on occasion, only for you to tell me that I am a feminasty, and to go jump.

Well Shane, I have packed your checked shirts, your underpants and your beer mug, and have donated them to the War Veterans Retirement Scheme.

I wish you well, and Big Kevin sends you his regards.

Feral Cheryl.