Guest, rather not say,

Hang in there- I've been through this in the recent past and there is a lot you can do. Depression is a real illness and it is curable. The big thing is to get some help and not keep it to yourself.

For me anxiety and depression turned out to be fairly separate although I think that the anxiety was caused by how hard it was to keep going during the depression. The sheer willpower needed to do the smallest thing was brutal. It is impossible to explain depression to someone who has not had it.

Anxiety and panic attacks are often linked to a phenonomen called 'over breathing' which leads to very low CO2 levels. I was admitted to hospital with chest pains - turned out the CO2 levels were so low that my chest muscles were cramping.
It also was giving me stinking headaches and leaving me very tired.
The old cure for stage fright of breathing in and out of a paper bag works by increasing the CO2.
In australia and new zealand there is a whole branch of physiotherapy dealing with over-breathing. (also called hyperventilation syndrome)
My (australian)doctor recommended this workbook by Dinah Bradley http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1856262952/qid=1133654662/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/203-3416425-5840726I
It is a short book and straightforward. After about a fortnight practicing the chest pains stopped. I still do the exercises three of four times a day as it relaxes me a lot.

The depression had crept up on me over a period of four or five years. I didn't know what was wrong with me until i finally went to the doctor because I couldn't sleep. He diagnosed a clinical depression and proscribed anti-depressants and therapy. They were a huge help. After eighteen months and some psychotherapy I came off them and although I felt much better I still had no enthusiasm for life. I could handle things but there was no joy in it.

A friend put me in touch with a hypnotherapist, larry mcmahon in county kerry , ireland. www.larrymcmahon.com
Going to him was one of the major experiences in my life. It made a huge difference. For the first time in years I picked up an instrument again (which is why I have just found mudcat cafe). I've rooted out my old sketch books and started teaching my children to draw.

larry mcmahon is a wonderful man and I have no qualms about recommending him. He is the first to admit that he does not know why hypnosis can work against depression but it very often does. I suspect myself that our unconscious mind can have considerable effect on the bio-chemistry of our body. An ex-girlfriend did her PhD on this.

Between therapy, anti-depressants, exercise and hyno-therapy the black dog is gone.

Depression is very common. I have discovered that all sorts of things can start it, including viral and bacterial infection, tick fever(lyme disease) and malaria, liver damage, shock, trauma, long term stress, even food allergies and damage to your digestive system.
The good news is that you really can beat it and get your joy in life and motivation back.
First step is to talk to people and you have already done that here.
Second is to get to the doctor- and if you don't feel satisfied with the first one then just head for another.

Feel free to email me.

Regards
Pat