Been reading this with interest and some sympathy. I remember when I first mooted taking my melodeon out and playing it in a local folk club a friend offered the advice "don't get up and do anything you wouldn't be prepared to sit through yourself". which I've always thought was good advice. Mind you, he now lives in Whitby - I hope it's not him with the drum. Over in Preston one of the folk clubs describes it's singer's night arrangements as "anyone can join in but don't mess it up". Having now had 30ish years of playing, sometimes with others, sometimes in spite of them, I can go with that.