Dear Fellow Mudcatter:

If you are poor, please do not bother to read further. I know this will eliminate almost all of you but there must be at least one wealthy lover of folk music out there. It is to you I am appealing.

I know you are honest and of a pure heart, because we have surely sung together somewhere sometime, and I know no evil could enter the soul of a singer of the songs we love.

Here is my proposal: I have accounts receivable in the amount of countless millions of dollars. They represent the inheritances from sadly diseased quasi-relatives, victims of assasinations, plane crashes, auto accidents, cancers of all conceivable organs, and worse. In addition, there are all of the lottery winnings! I am an unusually lucky person, having never entered a single lottery --- and why should I when I keep winning without ever buying a ticket?

And then there's the commissions accruing from all the flourishing businesses that recognize my honesty and business acumen. I had no idea I had made such a good impression on the Chamber of Commerce, Better Business Bureau, the Nigerian Consulate and other excellent judges of character.

My problem is this: I cannot collect these receivables personally for reasons of health --- my wife would kill my ass! I need you, o pure-hearted and wealthy Mudcatter, to become my partner. As I said, these unrealized assets amount to hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars (some accounts are in Euros). As in any such situation,the potential must be discounted because some will be uncollectable, so at a bare minimum we may speak of at least fifty million dollars($50,000,000).

I will make you my full partner on a 50/50 basis by allowing you to buy in for only one million dollars ($1,000,000). Hell, I'll take Canadian dollars, which isn't as big a sacrifice as it used to be; if need be it can be deposited in a Canadian bank, and I'll relocate.

I can't say fairer than that. Please note that I will not pay any courier or other conveyance fees --- I think I've gone far enough. Although I am sure there will be more than one interested party, I am not trying to start a bidding war here; the first Certificate of Deposit gets it!

Let me hear from you on this thread as soon as possible, and we'll discuss modalities.