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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
canoer Lyr Add: Murderous Toy (parody of Marvelous Toy) (9) ADD Parody: Murderous Toy 04 Apr 00

The Tom Paxton thread reminded me of this wonderful parody, by "Anonymous" as I got it.


When I was just a wee little lad, my Daddy gave to me
A toy he made down at the lab, it filled me full of glee
A wonder to behold it was, with many buttons bright
From the moment that I turned it on, it filled us all with fright

    It went ZAP when it fired and cursed when it missed
    And WHIRR as it took aim,
    It didn't know if we were friend or foe,
    It attacked us just the same.

Curiosity killed the cat, the dog was next to go
The paraakeet beat a fast retreat as the walls began to glow
A turret turned, some bullets fired, the TV was no more
My friends you should have seen it when the napalm hit the door.

It broke the windows down the hall, and then I heard it laugh
I must admit I chuckled as it cut my brother in half
My sister made it to the stairs, then it caught her in the pants
My daddy had the shotgun out, but he didn't stand a chance

It lobbed two mortars down the hall, and when the smoke had cleared
I looked around for my murderous toy, but it had disappeared
I watched it leave through watered eyes -- the tear gas smelled so sweet
Things didn't look good for the neighborhood as it ambled down the street

That was the last I ever saw of my murderous little toy
They say it's dead but I hope it's not, 'cause it filled me full of joy
They say it reached the Bering Straits and crossed the icy floes
The Russian Army ain't killed it yet, but it keeps them on their toes

The years have gone by too quickly now, and I have my own little boy
And just last night I told him of my murderous little toy
His face took on a crafty look, I could almost read his mind
My son has grown up like his dad, 'cause he wants one just like mine

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