Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses and all the King's man
Couldn't give a FUCK.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your garden grow ?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And lots of horse shit.

Simple Simon met a pieman
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pieman
"What have you got there ?"
"Pies, you daft twat."

Yellow matter custard, green snot pie
All mixed up with a dead dog's eye.
Spread it on a butty, nice and thick
Swallow it down with a cup of cold sick.

Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been ?
I've been up to London to see the Queen.
Pussy cat, pussy cat, what did you there?
Pissed on the Queen's carpet, shat on the Queen's chair.