This was compiled from a series of traditional miners' jokes recorded in Dave Douglass' Pit Talk in County durham

Some men leave their sons their land, their gold and silver too;
If they have a house they leave to them the key.
But my father was a collier and he had no wealth to leave -
Instead he left this good advice to me:
CHO Never let your dingle dangle dingle-dangle down;
Never let your dingle dangle down.

The first day I worked down the pit a butterfly flew past
So I hit it with a shovel on the head;
Inside of half a minute everyone came running out
Crying 'Get out quick - the ventilator's dead!'

I must say that I've met some very small men in my time
But our Billy is the smallest I've seen yet
For when the shift is over and he goes into the shower
He has to run around to get it wet.

The Deputy who lives next doo said 'Wake me up at four
Because I've got the back-shift still to do.'
So at two o'clock I went around and woke the bastard up
And said 'You've only got two hours to go.'

A fellow got his leg trapped and the doctors went below
But they had to take it off before they'd done.
As they carried him outby the gaffer said 'You silly sod
It'll take you months to grow another one.'

Our Jimmy had to tell a lass her husband had been killed.
'Break it gently, don't just blurt it out' we said.
He went round to the house and when the lass came to the door
He said 'I bet you'll never guess who's dead!'