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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
severed-head BS: 1st joke thread of 2009! (233* d) RE: BS: 1st joke thread of 2009! 07 Jan 09


A farmer named Seamus had a car accident.

In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus.

'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked
the solicitor.

Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my
favourite cow, Bessie, into the...'

'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the
question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'

Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving
down the road....'

The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to establish
the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the
scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to
sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the
question.'

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and said to the
solicitor:
'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'.

Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded.

'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the
trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came
through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one
ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and
didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I
knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a
policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so
he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out
his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me and
said, 'How are you feeling?'

'Now what the F**k would you say?'




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