Since there is a different second chorus in the recorded version of "A Screwball's Love Song" (as opposed to the live version on You Tube from the Old Radio Barn Dance), here are the lyrics:

Achin' hearts, breakin' hearts, lonely sad forsaken hearts
Have made all love songs sound the same to me
But such corny lines my dear won't be whispered in your ear
When I croon my brand new love song tenderly

Oh my lungs are plumb collapsing over you
And I'm gettin' me a stomach ulcer too
If you ever treat me mean it is sure to bust my spleen
And my blood veins would be miserable too
When you smile it fills my tonsils full of joy
Please don't use my adenoids for just a toy
I'm in love from A to izzard so don't trifle with my gizzard
'Cause I've gone and lost my liver dear to you

(instrumental break)

I hear silent love calls when I gaze into your eyeballs
My eardrums beat for you alone it's true
I love the way you giggle and can make your little ears wiggle
And no one else pops bubble gum like you (popping sound)

I've got chronic indigestion over you
'Cause I'm wonderin' if your fickle liver's true
If you ever go away I'll have hiccups every day
And my lonely sad appendix will be blue
When you clobber me with your two lips of fire
I can feel my toenails curling with desire
All the geese on my goose pimples honk and quack about your dimples
Baby doll with all my gizzard I love you

Written by Boudleaux Bryant
Released as a single, December 1952