I had a search, and could not find any more verses. So, I wrote a couple.

Note: Barlinnie Prison is in Glasgow


Cheers,




Steven


Outside a lunatic asylum one day
I was picking up some stones;
Up popped a lunatic and said to me
Good Morning Mister Jones,
How much a week do you get for doing that?
Fifteen bob, he cried.
He looked at me
With a look of glee,
And this is what he cried:

Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.
I thought you had a bit more sense,
Working for your money? Take my tip,
Act a bit funny and become a lunatic.
You get your four meals regular
And two new suits beside.
Wot? Fifteen bob a week,
A wife and kids to keep?
Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.

Outside Barlinnie Prison, the other day
Picking litter up off the street
Out came a warder and he said to me
"you look dead on your feet.
how Many hours a day do they Have you doing that?"
Nine to five, I sighed
He laughed and laughed
Called me daft
And gently he replied

Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.
I thought you had a bit more sense, (yes, I did)
Work your hands all raw? No. Do a little crime,
Get lifted by the law and serve a bit of time.
You get your porridge regular
And two new suits beside.
Work forty hours a week?
Come in and have a sleep.
Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.


I died and was sent to Heaven (the other day)
and walked round by the Gates of Hell (it's a shortcut)
The devil came out and said to me
"my boy, you don't look well."
How long'll you be be sittin twanging harps on clouds?
For Eternity, I said
He clapped his hands
Did a little dance
And he kindly slapped my head


Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.
I thought you had a bit more sense, (yes, I did)
Singing in the choir? Heavenly host?
There's a nice warm fire, and you'll get a bit of roast
You'd be bored up there in Heaven
And that gown's a bit too wide.
Head through the Pearly Gates?
Nah...Come in and join your mates.
Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.