Courtesy of the English comedian Simon Evans: Three new fathers - an Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani - find their babies have been mixed up at the maternity hospital. The doctor apologises, and offers to let them each go in and sort it out for themselves, picking the one they think is theirs.

First in is the Englishman, who comes out carrying a baby who is clearly Pakistani. The Pakistani father points this out to him. "That may be so," says the Englishman. "But one of those two in there is Welsh, and I'm not taking any chances."

(Please watch the clip. He tells it so much better than I do, deconstructing the joke as he goes along).



By the way, if anyone fancies performing Uncle Dave's George and the Dragon joke, it was written as a monologue in 1933 by Marriott Edgar, for the actor and music-hall comedian Stanley Holloway. Although Edgar was Scottish and Holloway was from London, it was written - as were all of the famous pieces from that partnership - to be recited in a North of England accent.

And BiilD - I did like your story about the Irishman wanting a memorial service for his pet. But offering $5,000? Would those be Irish dollars, or European dollars?