Here's the version I learnt as a kid:



Good morning Mr Murphy, Sir
God bless your heart and soul
I went to fuck your daughter, Sir
But I couldn't find her hole

At last I found her hole, Sir
It was beneath her frock
But dash it Mr Murphy, Sir
I couldn't find my cock

At last I found my cock, Sir
It was inside my hand
But dash it Mr Murphy, Sir
I couldn't make it stand

At last I made it stand, Sir
It stood up like a pin
But dash it Mr Murphy, Sir
I couldn't push it in

At last I pushed in in, Sir
Your daughter gave a shout
But dash it Mr Murphy, Sir
I couldn't pull it out

At last I pulled it out, Sir
It came out black and sore
But dash it Mr Murphy, Sir
Your daughter asked for more!