So back in '99 Alan B asked for the words of "Nine inch Nails" and Steve Parkes obliged ... except that it turns out that was just the chorus to a three verse song. I myself heard this from John Foreman about 50 years ago and it stuck- I think John was the source for the above as he paired it with "On Monday, I never go to work" etc and didn't sing the whole piece. Two weeks ago I was speaking to John (who is in good health and still getting around) and asked him about it. He told me that there were three verses and that he would send me the words; but he couldn't find them and now he can only remember the first verse! This is verbatim what he wrote to me:

Johnson- a commercial travellor- was a pushful man,
He pushed his goods as only a commercial travellor can-
He had a special line and it was ironmongery,
And everywhere he went he always murmered hopefully:

I can't find nobody who don't want to buy no nine inch nails.
They do go in, not half they don't, they do make holes, not half they won't.
I know the King, I know the Queen, I know the Prince of Wales (all pubs!)
But I don't know nobody that don't want no nine inch nails.

Does that jog any memories? John said there was a recording.