Dave - the point is, I did accept it; I agonised over it & seriously considered leaving at half time rather than risk inflicting another out-of-tune horror on the room. I also thought seriously about going around the people I knew in the room, taking them each on one side and saying "My singing... is it, you know, is it OK?" or words to that effect. This wasn't practical, which is probably just as well.

This may sound like an over-reaction, but think it through. I've been doing this stuff at singarounds & the like for many years. If I think I've done fine and somebody tells me straight out that I was just that bit out of tune, to me this says that my ear's off as well as my voice - and that the result was bad enough to be worth commenting on. I haven't had any recent damage to my ears, so presumably my ear's been off all these years. We've all known people who can't carry a tune in a bucket but never realise it - so what I'm hearing is that, although I think I sing quite well, actually I'm one of those people (and I don't realise it, because if you're one of those people you never do realise it).

You know there's a football chant, "You're s**t and you know you are" (to the tune of "Go West")? The message I was getting was the rather less rhythmic "You're s**t and you don't know you are (because you're s**t at that too)".

It was enough to make me forget that people had clapped (loudly) when I finished that song, and forget the difference between that and a polite ripple; forget the compliments I'd received in the past; forget all the practice I'd done and all the listening (including recording myself and listening back). It was a blow.

I don't even reject the criticism now, not totally. I don't exclude the possibility that a couple of notes actually were just that bit off, and that I didn't register them myself because I skated over them to get to a bit of the tune I was more comfortable with. I do exclude the possibility that it spoiled the song, though, just based on other people's reaction.

The bottom line is, I don't think it was appropriate for somebody I don't know that well to call a problem with my singing to my attention, when the problem wasn't that big and I clearly wasn't concerned about it myself. If I look blissfully ignorant of why the room emptied when I started singing, then I think you can burst my bubble. (As it goes I'm hyper-conscious of anyone who's left, who's lurking in the doorway, who's yawning, etc, so for me the blissful ignorance part isn't likely.) If I had a minor problem but I look like I'm worried about it, you can commiserate. And if we're friends, you can say what you like - come right out and ask if I've got a cold or something. But if none of those apply, however pure your motives are I think you should keep shtum.