Right. The Snail can be first up against the wall. Anyone who can't spell Brian hasn't sufficiently evolved to be part of any future I have my sticky hands in the till of.

As Steve struck a deal with me in a fish restaurant in Scotland regarding timetable of handover of power to me... My first edict once ensconced in No.10 and having ripped out the sound proofing Special Branch put in to deal with his gob irons.... Is to disenfranchise The Church of England. Disestablishmentarianism is something I always wanted to do. I bought all the books on how to do it.

After all, only HM Liz and a couple of percent of people are practicing Christians, so if we are to have a state religion (other than Sheffield Wednesday, obviously) it may as well be Islam because more people in the country observe its demands on their time.

Oh, and ban God bothering lyrics set to Neil Young songs. AND those bloody glove puppets they use to indoctrinate children. Whilst I'm at it, we can turn churches into folk club venues. Folkies care about tradition far more than Clappy happys do. You'll not catch us insisting Child meant murder when he wrote kill in the ballads.