1999 Was The Date Of The Year by Dan Milner


Dan's Comments: This parody of the great Irish ballad "Master McGrath" (always pronounced M'Gra') humorously chronicles Mudcatter Frank McGrath's visit to New York City in the Summer of 1999 including his sales effort at a large computer software show for the financial industry, his shopping expedition and his performance at The Blarney Star Tavern with Andy O'Brien, Dan Milner, Bob Conroy and a number of fine New York singers. Frank's performance was nothing short of brilliant and included his very moving original song "The Callows." However, one rhymester decided to follow an old Irish custom by writing a fictitiously humorous account about the evening the following morning.


1999 was the date of the year
A software salesman from Ireland came here
To take all our dollars and carry them awa'
"And give them some culture," says ould Frank M'Gra'.

'Twas at Hilton Towers that place of renown
The computer trade show in New York went down
With Wall Street tycoons and financial swells
Perusing the programs all whistles and bells.

Well Frank walked the floor with confidence strong
And told all the bankers he could right all their wrongs
With programs discrete and secure and so fine.
And he promised delivery in good Irish time.

The show now was ended, Frank's order book filled
And the pastures of Wall Street our hero had tilled.
But then says he, "There's just one thing more,
I'll have to visit Macy's departmental store."

With 2 children in Nenagh and a wife to preside
If he came home empty handed they all would deride
His elegant effort in New York's fair town
And greet his return with a scoff and a frown.

The shopping completed he next set his sights
On New York's traditional musical heights
To the Blarney Star tavern he then turned his eyes
To return back to Nenagh with a folksinging prize.

There was Andy from Killarney and Bob from the Isle
And Deirdre from Connecticut and Bonnie likewise
The American champion he too was there
And all sang that night with an elegant flair.

The last to the stage was our hero so mild
And he started with a ballad so rare and so wild
'Twas "The Finding of Moses" by Thomas Moran.
The previous singers then got up and ran.

Two more from Frank and the crowd they did roar
"Bedad1" then they cried, "We hope you don't know more.
When's the next plane to Ireland?" they politely enquired
And to a waiting taxi ould Frank he was squired.

Now M'Gra' he looked up and he sagged his ould tail
Informing the audience, "Sure, I know what you mean.
'Tis the same thing in Ireland and Britain also
Where my brand of folksinging is not all the go."

Once more back to Nenagh our hero did stride
With parcels from Macy's hanging down from his side.
He's cured of folksinging in Columbia the fair.
He's back in Tipperary and glad to be there.

Copyright 1999 Dan Milner.