Keith - do you have the digital equivalent of one of those personalised rubber stamp and inkpad kits where you can instantly print preprepared slogans and statements on postcards and lables to your hearts content...???
I'd have one saying "oh for f@cks sake, give it a rest !!!"
and an alternative saying "if you say so.. would you like a mug of coco and a nice lie down now"...
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sj