Boring? Judge for yourself...

World's Longest Song
   (Tim Wallace, Lorain, Ohio)
    (passed away 2015)

There are some recordings of him on YouTube, but not this one)



This is the ballad of the world's longest song
Nobody can sing it because it's so long.
No one can remember how all of it goes,
So I'll just sing the first hundred verses or so.

The context is boring- it's not very deep,
And all those who hear it may soon fall asleep.
And all those who stay conscious are sure to be bored,
And all those who don't will be poked if they snore.

The melody starts here, and then it goes _low.
The next line is ^{higher, and winds up like so}.
The third line is similar, but not quite the same,
And the fourth line is just like the third line again.

It's dull and redundant, and it repeats itself,
And it's dull and redundant and it repeats itself.
It just says the same thing all over, and then
It just says the same thing all over again.

It was handed down from my great-grandfather's time.
My grandfather sang it, but he couldn't get it right.
My father added more words, but he couldn't quite get them all to fit....
Then he gave it to me, and now I'm stuck with it.

Now I'm working on it, but I'm pretty dense.
I just haven't got any rhythmical sense,
And when I pass away, it will go to my son,
Which may prove to be hard, since I haven't got one.

Nobody can sing it, though many have tried.
One fellow swore that he could, but he lied.
When four hundred eighty-ninth verse came around,
He got queasy and shaky and had to lie down.

But the once was a fellow who really could sing.
He quite nearly finished the whole bloody thing.
When he came to the last verse, he swelled up with pride,
Stammered and choked and exploded and died.

There's one verse in here that I can't quite recall.
There's one line I just can't remember at all
-----------------------------------------------------------
And part of another that I ---------------------

Now somebody said that this song is all fluff-
I should put in some socially redeeming stuff....
Some truth and high consciousness. I said,"Gee whiz
That'll make it more boring than it already is!"

Now just to be fair and put everything right,
I hummed the one verse that wasn't polite.
It was crude and profane and contained dirty words.
It was the ------ that I ever heard!

Well, the time has now come as in every dumb song,
When we all are cajoled into singing along.
But learning the chorus should not prove a chore,
'Cause it's all parts of songs you've all heard before:

REPEAT AFTER ME

Toori-li, oori-li, oori-li-aye
Toori-li, oori-li, oori-li-aye
Hey diddle diddle the dilly dally day
Hey diddle diddle the dilly dally day
Hickory, dickory fiddle lee aye oh
   Hickory, dickory fiddle lee aye oh
Chug chug, toot toot, clank clnk clank e-i-o
   Chug chug, toot toot, clank clnk clank e-i-o