103. PREGNANCY (AND VARIATIONS)
Melody—Yesterday
Comment: An easy and fun song to parody, and we haven't heard the beginning of the variations, I bet.

Pregnancy,
There's a shotgun hanging over me,
Why has this bulge got to be,
I should have used one, silly me.

CHORUS: Why I had to come,
I don't know, she wouldn't blow,
I did something wrong,
Now I long for birth control, ol, ol, ol . . .

Birth control,
It's the only way to save my soul,
Since I put it in my girlfriend's hole,
Now I believe in birth control.
________

Syphilis,
Feels like razors every time I piss,
Who the hell's to blame for this,
It's agony, this syphilis.

CHORUS: How I got that sore,
I didn't know, she was a whore.
I was indiscreet,
Now I've got infected meat, eat, eat, eat . . .

Syphilis,
Chancre sores and spots upon my skin,
I never should have stuck it in,
Now I will die of syphilis.
________

Leprosy,
Bits and pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Since I acquired leprosy.

CHORUS: Why things fall away,
I don't know, no one will say.
When I solve hash trail,
It's my parts that point the way, ay, ay, ay . . .

Leprosy,
Stumps for toes and fingers, woe is me,
There goes my dick, how will I pee?
Quite messily, with leprosy.

Paul "Flying Booger" Woodford's "Hash Hymns", text file, which was sent to Ed Cray in 1994.