Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'

Subject: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: John M.
Date: 29 Jan 05 - 01:47 PM

Hello everyone,

If you are easily offended, please STOP READING.   This thread is for mature audiences only.  Please don't post "dreadful song" or "worst song written" as you are not helping. 

Here is a traditional bawdy parody which should be added to the DT database.  It is often titled:  "Syphilis"  (recording)

  
          Do you sing "Syphilis"?  If so when/where did you learn it?
 

Any help is appreciated.

Sincerely,

John Mehlberg
[e-mail]
~
My, mostly traditional, bawdy songs, toasts and recitations website: www.immortalia.com
~

       YESTERDAY  (recording)

Yesterday.
The vicar came home just to roger me,
Eight hours later he's still on top of me,
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Syphilis.
How the hell did I ever get this?
Oh the pain whenever I take a piss,
Oh I believe in syphilis.

Leprosy.
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Every time I cough things just fall off of me,
Oh I believe in leprosy.

Gonorrhea.
Now it's even spread up to my ear,
How the hell did it ever get here.
Oh I believe in gonorrhea.

Amputees.    [Spoken in background: "I love this one"]
You don't even have to spread their knees,
You can slide it in and out with ease,
Oh I believe in amputees.

Birth control.
It's the only way to save your soul,
When you're coming up your girlfriend's hole.
Oh I believe in birth control.
 

• Unknown
  • From http://www.fawleyrfc.co.uk/Songs/
    • Yesterday  Time: 1:22

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterd
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jan 05 - 02:13 PM

It is already posted in the Rugby Songs Thread -
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=4377#594497

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: John M.
Date: 29 Jan 05 - 02:37 PM

Gargoyle did a cut and paste from the digital hash house hymnal and it appears that very few of the songs from that thread were added the TD database. Hence I am presenting individual songs with the Lyr Add preface to encourage the song addition to the DB -- which is different than a thread.

I am also trying to present a song text which is derived from a field recording.   This is different than a songbook text. If you notice, my text has no chorus and a few strange verses (amputees!), which are not in the Hash Hymnal derived text.

I will post up other field derived texts as my time permits...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: breezy
Date: 29 Jan 05 - 02:42 PM

dont bother

grow up

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: Don Firth
Date: 29 Jan 05 - 02:49 PM

From lyrics composed by Dr. Helen Davies and her microbiology students at the University of Pennsylvania.

###

LEPROSY (To the tune of "Yesterday," by the Beatles)

Leprosy,
Bits and pieces falling off of me.
But it isn't the toxicity;
It's just neglect of injury.

Suddenly,
I'm not half the man I used to be.
Can't feel anything peripherally
From swollen nerves, hypersensitivity.

Why don't leprae grow in vitro?
We cannot say.
In vivo they grow very slow,
Once in 12 da ... ay ... ay ... ays.

Hard to get,
But the stigma hasn't faded yet.
Don't keep an armadillo* as a pet.
Clofazamine and Dapsone--don't forget.

###

*Bit of esoterica, perhaps: one out of six armadillos found in the Texas and Louisiana coastal marshes harbor leprosy. Some cases of leprosy in humans could possibly result from zoonotic transmission from armadillos. Although the incidence of this is believed to be low, before keeping an armadillo as a pet, one should be congnizant of the possiblility.

I first head this on an interview with Prof. Helen Davies on NPR a couple of years ago. Very funny lady in a grim sort of way. I might mention that, although she is quite happy if people want to sing these microbiological parodies, I believe she said the material is copyrighted.

Here's another example of the work fo Prof. Davies and her students:

HERPES SIMPLEX 1 AND 2 (To "The Sound of Silence," by Simon and Garfunkel)

Hello, herpes, our old friend,
Will be with us 'til the end.
'Cause the virus softly creeping
Left its genes while we were sleeping.
Not integrated into our genome,
It will roam, that episome.
The DNA of herpes.
Herpes simplex 1 and 2
Will forever be with you.

On our gums, lips, eyes, or down there, too,
And there isn't much that we can do,
But there is acyclovir to help,
And we'll want help
From herpes hurting you.
"Fools," say I, "you must beware!"
Herpes simplex's everywhere.
Symptomatic or in the ganglia,
Caught in New York or in East Anglia.
It will be latent
And reoccur when times are bad,
And you'll be had
When herpes comes for you.

###

Stay healthy.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterd
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 29 Jan 05 - 04:07 PM

Ummmm -so sorry John - "no cut and paste" from the Gargoyle.

Reading above the posting you are referencing you will find the Yesterday Song attribution songbook published in 2004 by the Cardiff, Wales Hotelier's Association.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: GUEST,observer
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 02:14 PM

breezy: your response was so enlightening! Clearly demonstrates the depth of your intellectual capabilities.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: Uke
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 08:11 PM

This may not be much use, all I can remember is one similiar verse, learnt in the school playground at the age of 10 (New Zealand 1980) and sung with great enthusiasm!:

Leprosy
I've got bits a-falling off o' me
I'm not half the man I used to be
Oh I believe in leprosy.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterd
From: Peace
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 11:13 PM

" *Bit of esoterica, perhaps: one out of six armadillos found in the Texas and Louisiana coastal marshes harbor leprosy"

That was also mentioned in Michener's novel, "Texas".

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterd
From: fogie
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 12:31 PM

I wonder where one can find more medical parodies, I remember we used to sing lots -I wish I could remember the words of Melaena -it started
Melaena I've just passed a big black melaena and suddenly that name will never be the same to me.....

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: GUEST
Date: 19 May 15 - 08:46 AM

I learnt this song as:

Gonorrhea
I went and stuck it in her rear (Audience: "Wrong hole!")
And now my urine isn't quite so clear
Oh, I believe in Gonorrhea

Public Lice
Damn things near as big as mice
And I tell you they're not very nice
Oh, I believe in Public Lice

Syphalis
It all started with a little kiss
Now it hurst when I try to piss
Oh, I believe in Syphalis

Leprosy
Bit are falling off of me (Audience: "Just the tip!")
I'm not half the man I used to be
Oh, I believe in Leprosy

Amputees
They're already on the knees
Just the height to slide it in with ease
Oh, I believe in Amputees

Birth Control
When having children quite you goal
But you want to cum in every hole
Oh, I believe in Birth Control

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 19 May 15 - 11:34 AM

To the tune of "These Foolish Things":

The shattered remnant of a used French letter,
A dose of syphilis that won't get better,
Oh when I piss how it stings,
These foolish things,
Remind me of you.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: GUEST,akenaton
Date: 19 May 20 - 03:53 PM

Why on earth would anyone want to sing, compose or listen to these lyrics?
Do some people find sexually transmitted disease, funny?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: Jeri
Date: 19 May 20 - 04:26 PM

In short, yes.

Seeing that it's based on "Leprosy", which is also a parody. I supposed that's funnier. I worked in public health, part of which was interviewing STD patients, and finding contacts. Humor is often a way to make things seem not so bit of a deal. But I don't think very many people don't understand that.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: Jeri
Date: 19 May 20 - 05:20 PM

Or conversely (thanks to Kilgore Trout who was AKA some other famous author), there isn't anything we laugh at that doesn't have its root in pain of some sort. Think about it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: GUEST,akenaton
Date: 19 May 20 - 05:31 PM

I don't think it has anything to do with making folk feel better Jeri, it is base and unproductive, it de-sensitises people.
I used to play amateur football and we all sang in the bus on the way home...anyone attempting to sing lyrics like these would have been thrown out.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: Jeri
Date: 19 May 20 - 06:34 PM

Don't ever work as any sort of first responder, Ake.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: GUEST,akenaton
Date: 19 May 20 - 07:03 PM

Well Jeri, some of the best folk songs deal with the "pain of love", but I always imagined that pain to be emotional.....not physical, though emotional pain can be cathartic at times so I suppose you have a point, but these parodies are crass, often misogynous and downright cruel with no redeeming features.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 20 May 20 - 06:06 AM

Some dirty knickers and an old French letter,
A dose of syphilis that won't get better,
My how it stings, these foolish things,
Remind me of you.

Dave H

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: Johnny J
Date: 20 May 20 - 08:12 AM

Oh I know many people try to make make light of such things just as a coping mechanism. I've also witnessed this sort of thing in my old line of work and have been guilty of such behaviour myself.

Also, I've usually felt even more guilty afterwards when I've thought or behaved along such lines. I remember back in February not taking the looming Coronavirus epidemic too seriously but now over 35,000 people in The UK have died. A lot more actually, if you include care home and other figures. So, there's nothing funny about such things at all.

If it's only yourself who is suffering, then I daresay it's OK to joke about it but not on behalf of or at the expense of others.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: Gordon Jackson
Date: 20 May 20 - 08:22 AM

... for mature audiences only.

That's good.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: GUEST,akenaton
Date: 20 May 20 - 08:44 AM

Well John my view on the virus and Care Homes involves a complete re-think on how we treat our old people, most of these homes are simply not fit for purpose, where dozens of frail and often demented old folks are thrown together in unsafe and unsuitable accommodation.

I have always considered you a gentleman in the best sense of the word and your contribution above bears out my opinion.....best wishes.Ake.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: GUEST
Date: 20 May 20 - 09:04 AM

I think a major problem we've had over recent years is the demise of cottage and community hospitals.

We really need a sort of half way house between critical care and treatment hospitals and nursing/ care homes.

Many people who require proper nursing are shunted into care homes where they or their relatives also have to pay for the facilities. If they still need to be nursed and receive other medical attention then it should still be covered by The NHS budget in some way.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: GUEST,Johnny J
Date: 20 May 20 - 09:05 AM

Sorry that was me above

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: GUEST,akenaton
Date: 20 May 20 - 11:44 AM

My views exactly John.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 May 20 - 12:06 PM

YUK

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: and e
Date: 08 Sep 23 - 05:19 PM

YESTERDAY

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, I yesterday came suddenly.
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Birth control, could be the saviour of your soul.
With your dick inside your girlfriends hole.
Oh, I believe in Birth control.
Suddenly, an unexpected pregnancy,
There's a shotgun hanging over me.
Yes I believe in Birth control.
Why I had to cum I don't know I couldn't say.
I did something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Sifolise, it all started with a simple kiss,
Now, it hurt when I take a piss.
Now I believe in sifolise

Leprosy, What a sorry mess I am to see.
Even friends can't stand to look at me.
Oh, I despise my leprosy.
Gradually, I'm not half the man I used to be.
Pieces keep on falling off of me.
It happens now so gradually.
When my tongue fell off,
I don't know, I couldn't say.
I said, [*garbled*] "zump ping wong".
Now I long for that sweet day
When I had no
Leprosy.
Making with me could never be.
Yes, I've lost my chance for ecstasy.
Oh I despise
My leprosy.

July 8, 2000. Hamilton Hornets Rugby Football Club Official Song Book, Rev 2. Retrieved form www.hamiltonrugby.com/docs/songbook.pdf   PDF is in our collection.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: and e
Date: 08 Sep 23 - 05:51 PM

BIRTH CONTROL

Birth control
It's enough to save our girlfriend's soul
When you're crawling up inside her hole
Oh I believe in brith control

Pregnancy
There's a shotgun hanging over me
Now I have to fae expectancy
Oh I believe in brith control

Chorus:
Why'd I have to come
I don't know she wouldn't blow
I stayed in too long
Now I long for birth control

Syphllis
It all strated with a smiple kiss
Now it hurts each time I take a piss
Oh I've cotracted syphillis

(Chorus)

Leprosy
All my body parts are falling off of me
I'm not half the man I used to be
Oh I've contracted leprosy

(Chorus)

1991. Raunchy Songs. [songsheets of Phi Kappa Psi, on the campus of UCLA].


See online here: https://archive.org/details/1991-phi-kappa-psi-raunchy-songs

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: and e
Date: 08 Sep 23 - 06:35 PM

P-File: "Leprosy/Syphilis"
Tune: "Yesterday" by the Beatles

Leprosy, all my skin is falling off of me
I'm not half the man I used to be
Oh, how did I get leprosy?

Syphilis, it just started with a simple kiss
Nw it even hurts to piss
Oh how did I get syphilis?

Why her box was sick
I don't know she wouldn't say
Now my dripping dick
Won't get thick like yesterday

Yesterday my cock was always coming out to play
Now it needs two weeks to hide away
Oh, I believe in Yesterday

The "Perversity File" [from Central Michigan University Marching band] which was sent to Ed Cray in 1994 by David R. and Michael F.   The accompanying cassettes to this "P-File" has the recording of "Leprosy". It turns out that the singer is John Valby (aka Dr Dirty).

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: and e
Date: 08 Sep 23 - 06:57 PM

103. PREGNANCY (AND VARIATIONS)
Melody—Yesterday
Comment: An easy and fun song to parody, and we haven't heard the beginning of the variations, I bet.

Pregnancy,
There's a shotgun hanging over me,
Why has this bulge got to be,
I should have used one, silly me.

CHORUS: Why I had to come,
I don't know, she wouldn't blow,
I did something wrong,
Now I long for birth control, ol, ol, ol . . .

Birth control,
It's the only way to save my soul,
Since I put it in my girlfriend's hole,
Now I believe in birth control.
________

Syphilis,
Feels like razors every time I piss,
Who the hell's to blame for this,
It's agony, this syphilis.

CHORUS: How I got that sore,
I didn't know, she was a whore.
I was indiscreet,
Now I've got infected meat, eat, eat, eat . . .

Syphilis,
Chancre sores and spots upon my skin,
I never should have stuck it in,
Now I will die of syphilis.
________

Leprosy,
Bits and pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Since I acquired leprosy.

CHORUS: Why things fall away,
I don't know, no one will say.
When I solve hash trail,
It's my parts that point the way, ay, ay, ay . . .

Leprosy,
Stumps for toes and fingers, woe is me,
There goes my dick, how will I pee?
Quite messily, with leprosy.

Paul "Flying Booger" Woodford's "Hash Hymns", text file, which was sent to Ed Cray in 1994.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: and e
Date: 08 Sep 23 - 05:19 PM

YESTERDAY

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, I yesterday came suddenly.
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Birth control, could be the saviour of your soul.
With your dick inside your girlfriends hole.
Oh, I believe in Birth control.
Suddenly, an unexpected pregnancy,
There's a shotgun hanging over me.
Yes I believe in Birth control.
Why I had to cum I don't know I couldn't say.
I did something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Sifolise, it all started with a simple kiss,
Now, it hurt when I take a piss.
Now I believe in sifolise

Leprosy, What a sorry mess I am to see.
Even friends can't stand to look at me.
Oh, I despise my leprosy.
Gradually, I'm not half the man I used to be.
Pieces keep on falling off of me.
It happens now so gradually.
When my tongue fell off,
I don't know, I couldn't say.
I said, [*garbled*] "zump ping wong".
Now I long for that sweet day
When I had no
Leprosy.
Making with me could never be.
Yes, I've lost my chance for ecstasy.
Oh I despise
My leprosy.

July 8, 2000. Hamilton Hornets Rugby Football Club Official Song Book, Rev 2. Retrieved form www.hamiltonrugby.com/docs/songbook.pdf   PDF is in our collection.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: and e
Date: 08 Sep 23 - 05:51 PM

BIRTH CONTROL

Birth control
It's enough to save our girlfriend's soul
When you're crawling up inside her hole
Oh I believe in brith control

Pregnancy
There's a shotgun hanging over me
Now I have to fae expectancy
Oh I believe in brith control

Chorus:
Why'd I have to come
I don't know she wouldn't blow
I stayed in too long
Now I long for birth control

Syphllis
It all strated with a smiple kiss
Now it hurts each time I take a piss
Oh I've cotracted syphillis

(Chorus)

Leprosy
All my body parts are falling off of me
I'm not half the man I used to be
Oh I've contracted leprosy

(Chorus)

1991. Raunchy Songs. [songsheets of Phi Kappa Psi, on the campus of UCLA].


See online here: https://archive.org/details/1991-phi-kappa-psi-raunchy-songs

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: and e
Date: 08 Sep 23 - 06:35 PM

P-File: "Leprosy/Syphilis"
Tune: "Yesterday" by the Beatles

Leprosy, all my skin is falling off of me
I'm not half the man I used to be
Oh, how did I get leprosy?

Syphilis, it just started with a simple kiss
Nw it even hurts to piss
Oh how did I get syphilis?

Why her box was sick
I don't know she wouldn't say
Now my dripping dick
Won't get thick like yesterday

Yesterday my cock was always coming out to play
Now it needs two weeks to hide away
Oh, I believe in Yesterday

The "Perversity File" [from Central Michigan University Marching band] which was sent to Ed Cray in 1994 by David R. and Michael F.   The accompanying cassettes to this "P-File" has the recording of "Leprosy". It turns out that the singer is John Valby (aka Dr Dirty).

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'Syphilis' a trad. parody of 'Yesterday'
From: and e
Date: 08 Sep 23 - 06:57 PM

103. PREGNANCY (AND VARIATIONS)
Melody—Yesterday
Comment: An easy and fun song to parody, and we haven't heard the beginning of the variations, I bet.

Pregnancy,
There's a shotgun hanging over me,
Why has this bulge got to be,
I should have used one, silly me.

CHORUS: Why I had to come,
I don't know, she wouldn't blow,
I did something wrong,
Now I long for birth control, ol, ol, ol . . .

Birth control,
It's the only way to save my soul,
Since I put it in my girlfriend's hole,
Now I believe in birth control.
________

Syphilis,
Feels like razors every time I piss,
Who the hell's to blame for this,
It's agony, this syphilis.

CHORUS: How I got that sore,
I didn't know, she was a whore.
I was indiscreet,
Now I've got infected meat, eat, eat, eat . . .

Syphilis,
Chancre sores and spots upon my skin,
I never should have stuck it in,
Now I will die of syphilis.
________

Leprosy,
Bits and pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Since I acquired leprosy.

CHORUS: Why things fall away,
I don't know, no one will say.
When I solve hash trail,
It's my parts that point the way, ay, ay, ay . . .

Leprosy,
Stumps for toes and fingers, woe is me,
There goes my dick, how will I pee?
Quite messily, with leprosy.

Paul "Flying Booger" Woodford's "Hash Hymns", text file, which was sent to Ed Cray in 1994.