And a short cheese horror story:
When I first moved up here to the boondocks, I was delighted to find a cheese and wine shop, advertising imports no less, so I toddled over to it to see if they had any Stilton. They did; I grabbed it up and went to the checkout, where I stood behind a couple who were insisting that the mold (mould on imports) be cut off the chunk they were buying. I was speechless (well, I was young then...). No, no, this is the horrible part: the clerk offered with great sincerety to cut the mold off my Stilton, too!
I knew I'd landed in the wastelands, then...