GUEST,

Did your daughter "know what you would do" because you had done it to her? Adult victims of abuse usually come from abusive families. A most of the time, they don't even think about what is happening to them as abuse, and most of the time, they don't even know how they feel about it, because their focus is dealing with a rage-o-holic who is so consumed with their own anger that they are not even aware of the impact that it is having on the people they love--

Concerned Friend, there is no way that you can resolve this situation. You can be a friend, and especially in this case, to show your friendship by being there, and not making an issue of what she is suffering--until she is ready to deal with the situation herself, she'll always defend her husband, and you will become the bad guy--the best hope that you have is, by staying close, you'll eventually gain her confidence.

As I said, you cannot resolve this situation, this woman has not confided in you, you know about the abuse because you have seen the results. Others have seen them, too, and, especially since of the position that this person is in, are feeling the same concerns and the same powerlessness that you feel.