Miz Dezdemoanin, Ise got ta tell ya thet i got me sum of them Nads thingz cuz I wuz figgrin thet thay mite be gud ta hep me with my hair problemz. Ya see I likes ta git out inna smmer an do sum swimmin an all but tha folkz down ta the swimmin pool sez I caint swim in my cutoff longhandulz thet I ware wen itz warm an thet I gotta ware me a bathin sute. Well see I git rite embearussed like cuz them hairz on my pubix keepa poppin out. Soze I figger thet them Nads musta bin made speshally fer nads an pubix an such.

I brot em home an wen I plasterd tha thing on my nadz it felt purty fine an seem reel ezy an all. But then wen I pullt tha thing off it wuz sumpin elz. Paw herd me hollerin an callt tha ambulanz peepul wen I came runnin outta the outhouse bear nekkid an holdin my privatz. Thay wuz reel nice folks an wen thay cot me thay put sum ice on my pubix an it wuzza lot better til the poleez come an arrestid me fer indecent exposhur.

CLETUS