Thank you for your post. It is a bold thing to stand up and say, "I'm human, I'm hurting, I need other people, will you please help me?" You may never know the full ramifications of your opening the floor to discussion. Someone reading the thread may decide that, based on YOUR bravery, s/he can also stand up and ask for help.
There have been many people in my life who suffer from mental illness, but I am only just beginning to learn about alcoholism in a close, personal relationship.
AA is a fellowship and different groups have very different "personalities", from what I understand. In the area where I live, there are smoking and non-smoking meetings, meetings in English, in Spanish, for gays, lesbians, "dual diagnosis" (mental illness PLUS alcoholism) people; morning, noon and night every day of the week.
From what I'm seeing, success with the program (any program) is about feeling that YOU are worthwhile. The love has to start from the inside; you've got to begin to believe that you are valuable and worth the effort. And then begin to rebuild.
Keep up the courageous work and remember to be gentle with yourself.