Dear Mr Latimer,

I have dealt with a number of banjo cases in my practice. I believe that this problem comes from an innate and ancient inherited phobia amongst your listeners.

If you consider the evidence at the foot of this page:

Evolutionary evidence

You will notice that the hominid in question is carrying a banjo in the manner of a type of club or similar weapon. I believe that this has caused expression of an ancient gene in your listeners. This can result in two scenarios: 1) the "play dead" behaviour expressed by those listeners pretending to go to sleep; or 2) release of "fright and flight" hormones within your listeners bodies. Both are, in fact, merely forms of self protection.

To reassure, calm and entertain your listeners, one suggestion could be to change instruments to the more highly evolved mandolin which will not illicit such a genetic response.

Yours sincerely,

Dr. Guitar