THE PEELER AND THE EMU (A skit on The Peeler And The Goat) Oh, the Hamburg peeler went one night On duty and patrolling He spied an emu upon the road And took him for a-strolling Bayonet fixed, he sallied forth And he caught him by the thrapple There swore out a mighty oath And the pair began to grapple "Have mercy, sir" the emu cried "And let me tell my story I am no rogue, no ribbon man No croppy, Whig, or Tory I'm innocent of any crime, Of petty or high treason For my tribe is active at this time It is the mating season." "Do not complain," the peeler said "But give your tongue a bridle You're absent from your feath'ry nest Disorderly, and idle Your wide-eyed lies will not prevail Nor your sublime oration For you have trespassed far from home On your own information" "No laws of man have I transgressed By deed or combination It's true I strayed far from my nest, My home, my habitation Sad Hamburg is my dwelling place Though born in far Australia Where emus ever find a mate Both male-ya and female-ya And I bein' blighted with a need To fertilise a hen-o Have gone in search of my own kind And fled my prison pen-o But female hens of my own breed Are few and far between-o. In Hamburg, Munich and Cologne Such beasts are rarely seen-o" "I wager, sir, that you are drunk On whiskey, rum, and brandy Or you wouldn't have such gallant spunk To be so bold and manly" "You readily would let me pass If I had money handy I'd trate you to the parting glass Its then I'd be the dandy" "Oh give me peace" the peeler said "And do not be a-bribin' For I've had enough of your oul' jaw, And lengthy diatribin'" And so, with that, he hit the bird A blow with his oul' truncheon He plucked and stuffed and baked and carved And ate it for his luncheon
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