Cluin...

Forgive me for saying this but...you're just not "clued in"! Hee! Hee! Hee! We have mastered arts you yobbos haven't even dreamt of yet. For instance, we mould three dimensional objects in an energy matrix, instead of a solid mould. This results in a far superior moulding with no parting lines, and it takes less than a second. I am now moulding one of you, based on my speculation regarding your appearance. My goodness, you are a sorry sight! I suggest regular exercise, more sun, and a meat-free diet. It's not hopeless!

BuckMulligan...

Where do I start? First of all, Buck, I don't think that's your reall name. I think you are funning with me. Fine. I don't mind. ET was a fictional character, Buck. Sorry to have to tell you this.

Now sit down. Are you sitting down? Alf is a puppet, Buck. Yes. He's a puppet. A lousy one too, I might add.

Michael Redgrave? You've lost me there, Buck. Michael doesn't rate too high on my World, but I'll see if I can track down whatever obscure Earth stuff he was connected with. He's an actor, right?

It beats me where you people get your Earth cadet notions about reality.

Bobert...

Ah, my friend, you have seen one of the Federation vessels I would expect, but I couldn't say which one. We've got a lot of members. We've been observing this planet for signs of moderately intelligent life for some time now, lately dodging the missiles that your idiot military people are fond of, and hanging in hoping for, like I said, sings of moderately intelligent life.

We were quite intrigued by your president Nixxon back in 1972, so it might have had to do with observing him. He had the most extraordinary nasal structure. Every time you looked at his nose it seemed to get a little longer. Fascinating. It's a pity you retired him early, so we didn't get to see the process complete itself. It might have made nasal history in the entire quadrant.

Clinton was very entertaining too, needless to say. The present fellow you've got seems barely sentient, however.