Brothers and sisters, lend me yo' modems. Yo' taskbar is empty. You have downloaded the foul virus of Country and Western and called it Folk. Repent! Reformat! Reboot!

Lo, verily, I have walked through the circuit city of death. I have seen the Mudcat and know His URL. Yeah, his bandwidth is wide, and the entry to his dominion is not password-protected.

Do not allow yo' life to be downloaded into the HTML trash can. You can be saved. We can undelete and restore you to the thread of the chosen. Saint Joeseph shall protect thy head and pass upon thine own keyboard a blessing.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man not stray from the path of the discussion and into thread-creep.

In my Father's PC are many threads: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go now to prepare a subfolder for you.

Verily, veriIy, I say unto thee, except a cookie be activated, you cannot access the domain of the privilaged.

Thou shalt direct link thy homepage to the Mud. Thou shalt not have any other website before the Mud.

Thou shalt not take the name of dick, Susan or Max in vain.

Remember the update day, to keep it holy and order early.

Honor thy hardware and software: that thy Internet connection may be long upon the net which the lord thy Gates hath given thee.

Thou shalt not remove Microsoft software.

Thou shalt not commit software or music piracy .

Thou shalt not post without citing sources.

Thou shalt not give memos to Janet Reno.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ocurina, accordian or nose flute.

After this manner therefore pray ye: Our holy Mudcat, who art in Cyberspace, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in the LAN as it is in Cyberspace. Give us this day our daily download. Forgive us our spam, as we forgive those who spam against us. And lead us not into the hands of the copyright police, but deliver us from system errors: For thine is the domain name and the bandwidth and the start page, forever and ever. Amen.