Amazing thread, I wonder if Forum Lurker will read the books recommended? I haven't read "People of the Lie", but I have read "The Road Less Travelled" by the same author. Absolutely brilliant stuff.
I myself have been for a long time asking many of the same questions as Forum Lurker, and was fortunate enough to meet a guy with similar beliefs to Little Hawk. A very important first step is to stop seeing God as something external and rather as something that is a part of yourself. When you realise that the only person who is actually in control of your life is you, it all begins to fall into place. Psychology goes a long way to understanding why there is so much suffering, for as Little Hawk says, "God provides, we decide". It's absolutely true and can be applied to just about every aspect of our daily lives. To make a decision is to make a choice, so every day we choose constantly how we are going to act, what we are going to say, what to believe, how we are going to react.
This becomes a problem only when we don't stop to think about the choices we are making. When things don't turn out as we expect, we immediately look about for someone else to blame, believing that we couldn't possibly have brought this problem/failure/suffering on ourselves.
I am still a long way from getting it all together and I apologise if this sounds a little simplistic. And I can't begin to explain the mass suffering that goes on in the world, so I won't even try. What I do strongly believe, though is the "free will" message. Your life is what you make it.

Happiness to all,
Li Maree