Thank you one and all for sharing your disasters. Some of the stories have made me laugh out loud and that does not happen too often!
Most of my kitchen disasters are limited to self mutilation of digits with knives recklessly opening food packages or using a particularly stupidly designed knife sharpener. (Even after two accidents I still have not replaced it and can think of no good reason why not!!)
My worst culinary disaster is with lava bread a (south?) Welsh delicacy which is essentially seaweed boiled to a sticky green consistency. My family recipe is for it to be rolled in oatmeal(or at a push flour) and then fried as small patties in bacon fat. Very tasty I assure you and mine would have been too if only I could have removed them from the pan!! The combined look of 'raw' lava bread, burnt lava bread, and uncooked flour which was eventually scraped from the pan was consigned to the bin. Back to Mum for more instruction!!