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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Paco Rabanne Date: 24 Nov 04 - 08:32 AM How dare you cheat me out of the 100th like that! You are supposed to sneak up on it, not thunder in with a load of posts! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Splott Man Date: 24 Nov 04 - 08:56 AM sorry! (in very small and humble print) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Juan P-B Date: 24 Nov 04 - 02:30 PM Alas poor jimmy, he is gone He'll trouble us no more For what he thought was H2O Was H2SO4 Juan P-B |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: LilyFestre Date: 24 Nov 04 - 05:07 PM Rick 'em rack 'um Rick 'em and ruck 'um Get that ball and really FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFIGHT. *smirk* Michelle |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Micca Date: 25 Nov 04 - 02:31 PM For you Americans, a Lollipop man is a crossing attendant to guide kids across a busy road called because he has a lollipop like board to stop traffic A "Zebra crossing" is a pedestrian crossing area on a street where The pedistrian has right of way it is black and white stripes on the road. Now " See The lollipopman at the Zebra crossing with Lollipops he lures Zebras across He makes me Cross I cross Roger McGough |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,shell Date: 09 Dec 04 - 02:42 PM i luv drugs drugs luv me crack cocain & extercy wiv a sniff sniff ere & a sniff sniff der i end up in intensive care! sex is evil sex is class whip me baby spank my ass 69er doggy style do me baby make me smile! women r jus lyk orange juice cartons, its not the shape or size dat matters its gettin those bloody flaps 2 open. there once wos a man called dave, who gud up prostitues graves, she wos as mouldy as shit & missin a tit but luk at da money he saved little miss muffet sat on her tuffet smokin an ounce of weed, along came a spider n skinned up beside her n sold her a kilo of speed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Metchosin Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:08 PM 'Twas Brillo, and the G.E. Stoves, Did Procter-Gamble in the Glade; All Pillsbury were the Taystee loaves And in a Minute Maid. "Beware the Station-Break, my son, The voice that lulls, the ads that vex! Beware the Doctors Claim, and shun That horror called Brand-X!" He took his Q-Tip'd swab in hand; Long time the Tension Headache fought-- So Dristan he by a Mercury, And Bayer-break'd in thought. And as in Bufferin Gulf he stood The Station-Break, with Rise of Tame, Came Wisking through the Pride-hazed wood, And Creme-Rinsed as it came! Buy one! Buy two! We're almost through! The Q-Tip'd Dash went Spic and Span! He Tide Air-Wick, and with Bisquick Went Aero-Waxing Ban. "And hast thou Dreft the Station-Break? Ajax the Breck, Excedrin boy! Oh, Fab wash day, Cashmere Bouquet!" He Handi-Wrapped in Joy. 'Twas Brillo, and the G.E. Stoves Did Procter-Gamble in the Glade; All Pillsbury were the Taystee loaves, And in a Minute Maid. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Metchosin Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:20 PM When I was standing very stil As still as still could be A great big ugly man came up And tied his horse to me |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: SINSULL Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:56 PM The boy stood on the burning deck His feet wre full of blisters. He tore his trousers on a nail And now he wears his sister's. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Dave Hanson Date: 10 Dec 04 - 04:21 AM The boy stood on the burning deck, His pockets full of crackers, A burning piece fell down his pants, And paralized his knackers. eric |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 10 Dec 04 - 06:45 AM I with I wath a wittle egg, Away up in a twee. I with I wath a wittle egg, As wotten ath could be. And when a naugthy boy came past, And frowed a thtone at me, I'd shake my wotten wittle thelf, And thpill all over he. Robin (from the primary school playground - and my grandma - who also knew it!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,Davkbod@yahoo.com Date: 09 Apr 05 - 12:22 PM I'm trying to remember the rest of another parody of "Mary Had a liitle lamb", done by some comedian several years ago... Mary had a little lamb, little pork, little ham, a ????? with rice ?????? was so nice.. (Various other menu items...) Any one remember the rest of this? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: LadyJean Date: 09 Apr 05 - 11:11 PM These came from my grandmother who was born in 1883. (And was 34 when she gave birth to my mother, who was 38 when she gave birth to me. I'm not THAT old.) Mary had a little lamb A little pork A little jam Some ice cream soda topped with fizz And oh how sick our Mary is. Once a mig policepan met a biddle lum. Hitting on the burbside eating baba rum. Said the mig policepan will you simme gum, "Ninny on your tintype!" said the biddle lum. (Ninny on your tintype was a rude way to say no.) From my mother, who swore she saw it in a toilet stall somewhere. When you're using our john Don't stand on the seat. Our crabs can jump up to 15 feet. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Metchosin Date: 10 Apr 05 - 01:03 AM Carnation milk is best of all, No tits to pull, no hay to haul No buckets to wash, no shit to pitch Just poke a hole in the son-of-a-bitch. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Celtaddict Date: 10 Apr 05 - 11:00 AM GUEST of 23 Nov 0800, did you ever find the tune to this? I've a friend who sings it and could probably come up with a cassette, though I do not know how to do any of the high-tech melody things. It is a rather familiar sounding tune. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,Joe_F Date: 10 Apr 05 - 11:36 AM If I were a cassowary On the sands of Timbuctoo, I would eat a missionary, Coat & bands & hymnbook too. --- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: Suicide: bridging the gap between abortion and euthanasia. :|| |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,Arthur Date: 27 Apr 05 - 07:02 PM He is not drunk who, from the floor, Can rise and ask to drink some more But drunk is he who prostrate lies, With neither the strength to drink nor rise! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,CrazyEddie Date: 28 Apr 05 - 05:21 AM Mary had a little skirt, and it was split in half. And everywhere that Mary went, the boys could see her calf. Mary had another skirt,'twas split right up the front. But she never wears that one... There was a young lady of Rygah, Who went for a ride on a tiger. They came back from the ride, With the lady inside, And a smile on the face of the tiger |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,CrazyEddie Date: 28 Apr 05 - 05:23 AM There was a young man from Japan, Whose limericks they never would scan. When asked why this was so, He replied "I don't know, I just try to get as many words into the last line, as I possibly can." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Long Firm Freddie Date: 29 Apr 05 - 01:54 AM I wish I was a little bug With hairs upon my tummy I'd climb inside a honeypot And make my tummy gummy (Apparently this was a message made up and sent by a very bored naval radio operator) LFF |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,UffDa Date: 29 Apr 05 - 04:24 PM There once was a man from Australia Who painted his arse with a dehlia The colours were fine Likewise the design But the smell was an utter failure. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 05 - 02:52 PM Refresh while I hunt up a few more. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Flash Company Date: 01 May 05 - 10:15 AM Algy met a bear, The bear was bulgy, The bulge was Algy (learned on my first day at Infant School) I have a clever daddy who goes in and out with me, And evrything that baby does My Daddy's bound to see, And everything that baby says My Daddy's bound to tell, You must have read his poetry, I hope he rots in hell! (Ogden Nash) Drake is going west, lad, And Tom is going east, But little Fred just lies in bed, The idle little beast! (The Immortal Spike) She stood on the bridge at midnight Her bosom all a-quiver She gave a cough Her leg fell off And floated down the river! (Spike again) Oh the lark in the morning is the only lark for me, When you wake feeling randy, and the missus says 'Whopee!) It gets you all a-tingle, it makes your pulses race, And you go into the office with a smile on your face! Want any more? FC |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,Erato Date: 02 May 05 - 08:44 AM Yes please,Flash! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Flash Company Date: 02 May 05 - 10:03 AM There was a young man from Dundee Who was stung on the neck by a wasp When they asked 'Did it hurt?' He replied 'Not at all, It can do it again if it wants too!' Spike again, alledgedly in a contest with his fellow Goons to see who could produce the worst limerick. Same session also produced:- There was a young man from Bombay Took a slow boat to China one day He was tied to the tiller With a sex starved gorilla And China's a bloody long way! I'll go now, it's just started to thunder again! FC |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,Bill D Date: 02 May 05 - 11:34 AM slight addition to the above: "Algy met a bear. The bear met Algy. The bear was bulgy. The bulge was Algy." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Flash Company Date: 03 May 05 - 09:41 AM Probably right Bill D, remembering from about age 4 1/2 means about 64 years to forget a line! Oh by the way, Ogden Nash again:- The Perfect Husband He tells you when you're wearing too much lipstick, And helps you with your girdle when your hips stick! FC |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: rock chick Date: 03 May 05 - 04:34 PM There was an old man from Trog walking blindly in the fog Over a dog he tripped and fell head first in the s..t That silly old man from Trog |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Fibula Mattock Date: 04 May 05 - 06:52 AM Pointy bird, pointy pointy, Anoint my head, anointy anointy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: darkriver Date: 04 May 05 - 02:17 PM I thought this was for silly rhymes. There are some nice ones in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in the Camelot Song. Arthur: Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride... to CAMELOT! CUT to Knights in castle Knights (singing): We're knights of the round table, we dance whene're we're able. We do routines, and border scenes, with footwork imp-e-cable; We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and spamalot. We're knights of the round table, our shows are for-mid-able Though many times, we're given rhymes, that are quite un-sing-able We're not so bad in Camelot, we sing from the Dia-phragm alot! Though we're tough and able, Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable, Between our quests, we seek incest and impersonate Clark Gable, It's a busy life in Camelot: I have to push the pram-a-lot! CUT back to Arthur: On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Leadfingers Date: 04 May 05 - 03:25 PM Ogden Nash was definately King of the Four Liners !! Sure , deck thy limbs in pants my love , Thine are the limbs my sweeting . You look divine as you advance - Have you seen yourself retreating ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Metchosin Date: 04 May 05 - 04:11 PM Thoity poiple boidies Sitting on a coib Eating woims and boiping. Seville, dare daygo Toussen busses inaro Nojo dems trux Summit cowsin Summit dux F - U - N - E - X? S! - V - F - X. F - U - N - E - M? S! - V - F - M. OK, M - N - X! How I loves them little mousies Mousies what I loves to eat Loves to bite they tiny heads off Nibbles on they tiny feet. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Micca Date: 04 May 05 - 06:20 PM There is always the old exercise in punctuation, (it makes perfect sense once the correct stops and commas are added) " Caeser entered on his head a helmet on each foot a sandal in his hand he had his trusty sword to boot" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Bill D Date: 04 May 05 - 10:53 PM 'Tis the Arabian bird alone Lives chaste, because there is but one. But had kind Nature made them two, They would like doves and sparrows do. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,big berd Date: 05 May 05 - 06:51 AM there once was a man from capree who tried to piss up a tree the tree was too high so he pissed in his eye and now the poor bugger cant see there once was a man from calcultta who tried to sleep in the gutter the tropical sun burnt a hole in his bum and melted his balls to butter |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,joey Date: 05 May 05 - 09:10 AM Old King Cole was a smelly old soul and a smelly old soul was he In the middle of the night, he woke with a fright, to go to the WC Now the WC was occupied and so was the kitchen sink But it had to be done, it had to be done, So out of the window popped his bum, Now Farmer White was walking by, He heard a rumbling in the sky He looked up, as it came down, So now his name is Farmer Brown |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,guest Date: 05 May 05 - 09:12 AM |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,guest Date: 05 May 05 - 09:16 AM Above the sickle, below the hammer That is the sign on the Soviet Banner Whatever in life you choose to do It's all the same - you'll still get screwed |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Bill D Date: 05 May 05 - 07:41 PM A firefly's flame Is something for which science has no name. I can think of nothing eerier Than flying around with an unidentified glow on one's posteerior. --------------------------------------------------- A panther is like a leopard except it hasn't been peppered should you behold a panther crouch prepare to say ouch better yet, if called by a panther don't anther. Ogden Nash |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Bill D Date: 05 May 05 - 08:04 PM Some primeal termite knocked on wood, And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today. Ogden Nash |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: John on the Sunset Coast Date: 05 May 05 - 11:54 PM My lady be wary of Cupid, Pay heed to the words of this verse, To let a fool kiss you is stupid, To let a kiss fool you is worse. [the last two lines of this ditty are in the form of a Chiasma] I took my auntie riding in a cold and windy breeze, I put her in the rumble seat and watched my auntie freeze. Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses. - Dorothy Parker Men are such asses, who seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses (Dorothy Parker?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhymes, anyone? From: GUEST,cookieless Genie Date: 06 May 05 - 11:40 PM Hey, why is this thread in the B(reeze) S(hooting) section instead of in the "artistic" section?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: JennyO Date: 09 May 05 - 12:26 PM Algy had a bath The bath was bilgy The bilge was algae. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,Craigsut@hotmail.com Date: 24 May 05 - 04:50 PM Standing on a burning deck the fire it drove me crackers If those flames get any higher they're going to burn my kn******! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,Joe_F Date: 25 May 05 - 12:06 PM Better a parvenu Living luxuriously on Park Arvenu Than a Schuyler or Van Rensellaer Living inexpensellaer. -- Ogden Nash --- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: Think of it as evolution in action. :|| |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,Allen Date: 25 May 05 - 02:24 PM The Aardvark is a funny beast In the Jungle lays well-hidden It eats bugs and little children. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: GUEST,ajit bhaiya Date: 11 Dec 06 - 12:40 AM to think i'm a genius is no serious crime for all that lies within us is opium and wine. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Metchosin Date: 11 Dec 06 - 01:34 AM There is a strange bird called the pelican His beak can hold more than his belly can He can store in his beak Fish to last him a week But I do not know how in the hell he can |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Cluin Date: 11 Dec 06 - 02:04 AM Hava nagila Have two nagilas Have three nagilas They're very small. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly rhyms anyone? From: Elmer Fudd Date: 11 Dec 06 - 02:29 AM Fleas, by Ogden Nash Adam had 'em. |