BS: What if they had said it this way

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: DMcG
Date: 27 Aug 02 - 07:29 AM

Once a battalion of dragoons@ from Ireland held a military exercise in Fife. Oh.

(@ a dragoon is a kind of pigeon, but that would be silly)

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Trevor
Date: 27 Aug 02 - 06:43 AM

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 27 Aug 02 - 01:51 AM

That first one took me a while, Blackcatter. :)

How about some of Patsy Cline's big hits:

"Psychotic"
"Washed-Out Co-dependence"
"I Have A Nervous Breakdown
"Sugary REM Sleep"
"Ambulating In The Early Hours Of The Morning"

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Blackcatter
Date: 26 Aug 02 - 11:54 PM

Hitting our butt on the ground while rocking back and forth in a candied Roman horse cart.

What a present it is to be uncomplicated.

The plot of earth wot you see before you belongs to you.

There's a fair amount of distance across the H2O.

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 26 Aug 02 - 11:26 PM

...or the Dr. Seuss classic,
"Le Chat Avec Le Chapeau"

or the Hemingway novella
"The Geezer Vs. Davy Jones"

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 26 Aug 02 - 04:49 AM

Now children, write this simple sentence:

"The feline squatted on the floor covering".

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: katlaughing
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 11:56 PM

And to clarify further:

Main Entry: 1where.fore
Pronunciation: 'hwer-"fOr, 'hwar-, 'wer-, 'war-, -"for
Function: adverb
Etymology: Middle English wherfor, wherfore, from where, wher + for, fore for
Date: 13th century
1 : for what reason or purpose : WHY
2 : THEREFORE

**********************************************************

To actors: Fracture a tibia or femur

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 09:06 PM

How about a combo song title:

"Seventy-six Candles"

Then there's the classic Gary Cooper film:

"Twelve-hundred Hours Straight Up."

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 06:12 PM

He marches to the beat of a different kettle of fish!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 06:08 PM

GUEST Souter submitted:

"This one's too easy...Heya Romeo, where the hell are you, anyway?"

Unfortunately, "wherefore" does NOT mean "Where". It means "why". So maybe:

"Howzacome you're Romeo?"

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: katlaughing
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 02:29 PM

Souter, thanks for the correction...HeyaRomeo..I wish my parents liked you!

**bg**

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 12:11 PM

I think it was Marie Antionette who said Let them eat toast, but I'd better be careful, might've been Groucho Marx.

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 11:15 AM

If they have no bread then let them eat toast! ( I don't know who said that?)

I went, I didn't see, I won at conkers! (Julius Caesar)

Woa, woa, and triple woa! I am falling apart (I don't who said that?)

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Gurney
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 06:27 AM

How about a few songs, like... Poached egg on toast by Cyril Tawney I'm metropolitan, really by Harvey Andrews When you reached the age of consent as sung by the Fureys

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Blackcatter
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 11:58 PM

"Fiddler on the Lamb" - I was actually going for the meat of choice at Passover, but lam is fun too.

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 11:53 PM

Seen on a tombstone: "Better here than in Guelph."

BTW, wasn't Robert Burns's observation
"The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley*"
just an earlier version of
Murphy's Law?
"Whatever can go wrong will."

Genie

*This is only a rough approximation of the Burns line.

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 09:47 PM

Very frequently, a suggestible person is birthed. P. T. Barnum

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 06:51 PM

What if they'd said it together?

Fiddler on a hot tin Roof

A Streetcar named desire under the elms

What if they'd said it more precisely?

Her face at first just ghostly turned a whiter tint of pale

You and I travel to the beats of two different drums

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: The Walrus
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 06:49 PM

Some older films:

"Duel in the drizzle"

"Mr Deeds Goes to Town, gets bored and comes Home"

"It's a so-so Life"

"ElectroGlide in a nice Magenta and Plum"

"Malediction of a preserved corpse"

Bob Hope in "The Sunblock worked" (alright, it was the nearest I could get to "Paleface")

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 01:38 PM

Blackcatter,

"Fiddler on the Lamb "  -- Do you mean "...on the lam" ?  (Shouldn't it be "Banjo Player On The Lam"?)

"The Last Temptation Which Was Affective"   Do you mean "Effective?"

 "Who's The Bell Ringing For?"  -- good one!

-------
Some others:

The Sun Also Rises (So Get Out Your PABA)

The Leopard In Summer

Failed "Safes"  (required reading for Planned Parenthood)

A Vermont Mets Player In The Court Of That Guy With The Round Table

Strawberry Finn

The Last Dandelion of Summer

Mighty Lak' A Geranium

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Souter
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 01:03 AM

To clarify: Juliet wasn't asking where Romeo was, she was asking why he couldn't be someone her parents liked.

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Souter
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 12:57 AM

This one's too easy...Heya Romeo, where the hell are you, anyway?

But, catlaughing, wherefore means why, not where. Just as therefore means for that reason, wherefore means for what reason. See? So it could never have been said that way.

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Blackcatter
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 12:40 AM

Books - Etc.:

The Once and Future Heir Apparent

Stranger in His Own Homeland

The Hunt for Yellow January

Day of the Kit Fox

The Statanic Free Verses

Slaughterhouse Down the Street Two Blocks, Make a Right and You'll see it on the Left Side Next To the Tasty Freeze

To Have and Be Happy About it

The Lord of the Fishnet Stockings Paradise. Now, Where Did Paradise Go?

6 Degrees of Education

Fiddler on the Lamb

Ivanhoe - A Critical Discussion of Russian Male Prositutes

The Last Temptation Which Was Affective

Zorba the Geek

Catch pi

All That, Out There, by Carl Sagan

The Hero With a Thousand Vices

The Martian Newspapers

Who is the Bell Ringing For?

Celsius 232.7777777777777777777777777777777777777...

Solyent Plaid

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 12:09 AM

"It is better to have loved and lost. Much better."

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 10:57 PM

This one's too easy...Heya Romeo, where the hell are you, anyway?

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 10:05 PM

"Come shack up with me and be my main squeeze...".

Then there's that great Tennessee Williams play, "Moggy On Overheated Metal Shingles."

or
Shakespeare's classic line: "All the world's a mosh pit."

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: MMario
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 04:23 PM

To soar with the penguins....

You are the atmospheric disturbance beneath my wings...

A trolley-car named 'Lust'

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Boromir
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 04:18 PM

It means nothing if it hasn't that swing.

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: DMcG
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 01:42 PM

A rose by any other name would still have greenfly

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 01:34 PM

"When I was a young man I carried a pack
And I irritated every other passenger in the tube train".
(Apologies to Eric Bogle

"To plough and sow,
and reap and mow
And rake in EU subsidies
And rake in subsidies.

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Trevor
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 09:56 AM

This is a far, far more stupid thing than I have ever done before. (Pinching MMario's source!)

Nymphs and shepherds sod off!

Oh for the wings of a stormy petrel.

A Town Called Gertie

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: MMario
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 09:25 AM

"It was an okay time, it was not the greatest of times"

"Now is the cold season of our peevishness made slightly better by that big light in the sky"

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 09:25 AM

Oops, the above were my fault. I'm a Doctor, Jim, not an assistant crack-whore.

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 09:16 AM

We have nothing to fear but a decade long crippling depression. (The Onion)

Whatsisname Beats The Other Guy! (Dewey Wins!, the Onion)

Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of milk-duds. (Ken Byrd)

Woke up this morning, saw both my cars were gone. Felt so low down deep inside, I threw my drink across the lawn. (Martin Mull)

It ain't me, babe, it aint me, babe, you, babe, are looking for. Babe.

Do you want to know a secret? and The sound of silence; (the words stay the same, but as sung by Ethel Merman)

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 08:50 AM

Pitt the Younger's last words:
"I could just eat a chicken vindaloo."

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Trevor
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 04:36 AM

F**k Bognor!

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Crazy Eddie
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 03:13 AM

Oscar Wildes last words: "Either that wall-paper goes, or we need to replace the carpet to match"

"Badges? We just LOOOOOVE those pretty badges"

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Bert
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 12:26 AM

I asked my love to take a hike.

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 11:52 PM

wow, Walrus!...*grin*

now, "War & Peace"?

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: bob jr
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 10:47 PM

citzen kanes dying words "roast beef"

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 06:25 PM

We always call "Toys R Us" - We be dolls & stuff

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: The Walrus
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 05:40 PM

OK Bill, just for you:

"..There I was, after the action, beaten to the wide and coming in on my chinstrap, when up strolls this total ponce, clean as a whistle, dressed to the nines and smelling like a bleedin' knocking shop and with a pomander up his nose.
Anyhow, some squaddies were cleaning up the battlefield and this oik has a go at them because he ended up downwind of a stiff..."
Harry Hotspur - Henry IV Pt I Act 1 Scene III - W. Shakespere

(if you want the original:

"...But I remember, when the fight was done,
When I was dry with rage and extreme toil,
Breathless and faint, leaning upon my sword,
Came there a certain lord, neat, and trimly dress'd,
Fresh as a bridegroom; and his chin new reap'd
Show'd like a stubble-land at harvest-home;
He was perfumed like a milliner;
And 'twixt his finger and his thumb he held
A pouncet-box, which ever and anon
He gave his nose and took't away again;
Who therewith angry, when it next came there,
took it in snuff; and still he smiled and talk'd,
And as the soldiers bore dead bodies by,
He call'd them untaught knaves, unmannerly,
To bring a slovenly unhandsome corse
Betwixt the wind and his nobility...")

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: RangerSteve
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 02:39 PM

...and in the name of the Lollipip Guild, we're going on strike for more vacation and sick days, better working conditions, shorter hours, a cost-of-living raise...

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 02:20 PM

"What silly ninnies these beings who are destined to die are!"

"If banjo solos be the food of love, ...oh, what the heck! Go ahead and pick!"

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 12:03 PM

"Do sit under the apple tree with everybody else but me!"

"There'll be pigeons over the black tips of Rhondda, tomorrow, just you wait and see!

"There'll be swearing, fighting, damaged street lighting, and supermarket trollies in the stream!"

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 11:58 AM

tsk...we are slipping from variations on famous quotes to some totally made up lines that might have been said...

Bill D, resident pedant

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 09:15 AM

"Alright lads, one more try at that hole in the wall" - Henry V at Harfleur

"Agincouurt? What kind of name is that for a battle?" - Henry V

"If it must be done then better to get a move on" - Macbeth

" You ba*ds might have made a token effort to look for me" Capt Oates, Scott Expedition 1912

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Trevor
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 04:31 AM

'You're kidding!' - Hardy to Nelson at his big moment during the battle of Trafalgar.

'Anybody seen the tar remover?' - Lady Macbeth

Once Upon a Time Somewhere Over There

'If you don't put that arrow down Harold, you'll have someone's eye out!'

and, most famously...

'Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the show?'

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: JohnnyBGoode
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 03:01 AM

Hip, hip, WAHOO!

"No, kid, if you really want to record something for your mother you're better off investing in a home tape recorder and doing it yourself...this is a professional recording studio. We're busy with the likes of Carl Perkins and others you probably haven't heard of."

Na na na na, na na na na, hey, hey, hiya

Listen, do you want to know something I won't tell anybody else?

Jesus left.

Watson, you're fired. Pack your things and go. -- A. Grahm Bell

Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 02:35 AM

How do I spell "relief?" "Q-u-a-a-l-u-d-e-s."