PTH July Installment

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 08:23 PM

i,will,play,the,lottery,tomorow,
and,if,i,win,I,Will,buy,the,Slop,and,sack,him
and,all,them,usic,people,will,be,welcome
and,first,night=free,bears
after,that=1pound,each.
i,hope,i,win.john

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 08:18 PM

Waht,an,arsehole!
£200,works,out,less,than,4pounds,a,week!
he,must,be,making,more,than,that,in,prifit,from,the,session.
i,only,been,going,to,the,sloop,for,probly,les,than,a,year
but,its,probly,the,best,session,there,is,around,here.
you,can,tell,that,anyway,as,loads,of,the,people,going
go,from,far,away,and,that,proves,it.

anyway,i,reckon,he,is,just,naking,excuses,
200,quid,is,not,all,that,much,for,a,pub,to,spenf
to,keep,all,the,music,people,going,and,spendinnf,there,money.
he,sounds,like,a,ttal,arseole
and,serves,him,right,if,the,pub,
goes,quiet,and,bankruopt.john

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 07:42 PM

A terrific session in the Slop tonight with massed icing bags and lunatic fiddlers.

However, Uday has jacked the beer up 30p a pint, and has given us a week's notice to find a new home. He is rather conveniently diverting his 30ps, and complaining that he can't afford the £200 PEL.

So next week is the last Slop session for the foreseeable future. It would be braw to make it a big one, but perhaps we should all buy a half pint and nurse it all night. I don't see why we should line Uday's pockets when he's giving us the heave-ho.

The ayatollah is looking into moving the session to the Queen's in Barton, but that looks like a Monday night. I will make some enquiries at the Haven Inn, Barrow, where the new landpeople have shown interest. Ironically, that is where Uday moved from..........

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: smallpiper
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 12:01 PM

We have another piper coming to the slop tonight so pipeophobiacs be warned!

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Raggytash
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 08:03 AM

Mr Thompson hasn't come bck to me to tell me if my application for the position of "wringer out" in his window cleaning business was successful or not. Do you think I should push the matter further.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: sweetfire
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 07:02 AM

Any body going to Nellies tonight...?

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Noreen
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 05:53 AM

BS: Skipjack's Hello on Radio2

(Raspberries to the DeanMeister)

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 04:59 AM

And speaking of Tuesday nights, has Uday come up with any grub yet. Will venture forth tonight, and see, after I have tarried an hour under the spell of Mrs Dawson. The ayatollah tells me that Uday has ideas about lodging diners in our room. Why is food the pox of decent pubs? Dudgeon of significant altitude may be required.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: KJ
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 04:53 AM

Oaklet. This indeed is a musical site! A word of warning to all and sundry who wish to modulate, avoid using the chord on the flattened supertonic, it can cause boils, especially on Tuesday nights.C.T.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 15 Jul 03 - 03:00 AM

Nobody likes a smart arse, Nozzer...!

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Noreen
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 05:00 PM

Yee-hah! 200th post too!

---

Oo!

♥ Noreen

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Noreen
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 04:56 PM

jOhn's not surfaced yet- p'raps his head really was hanging off and he'd not noticed?

Could explain a lot

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: smallpiper
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 12:23 PM

Thank you.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Willa
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 12:07 PM

Well done, indeed, John.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Oaklet
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 12:01 PM

Well done, mate!

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Noreen
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 11:49 AM

Congrats, sp- Sue would be delighted!

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 10:21 AM

Well done me auld mucker!!!!

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: smallpiper
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 08:18 AM

The reason I wasn't at this satrday's PTH gig was because I was at the Rothbury Traditional Music Festival (in Northumberland) where I took part in the Lowland (Border) piping competition. (I promised Sue I would enter before she died). Bearing in mind that I have been playing Border pipes for 5 weeks I am happy to anounce that I came second! I was beaten by Mat Seatle a verteran piper and professional musician.

I'm realy quite pleased with myself!

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Oaklet
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 05:20 AM

I think that jOhn had a turbulent night. Piss and wind indeed! He is a cheeky fellow and make no mistake. KJ, I am out of nut oil. I used it in a mad, solitary buffing session last week. What I shine I got, though.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 05:17 AM

What sort of Pane do you think Nancy has, anyway? Did she wake up with her head hanging off, too?

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Noreen
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 04:36 AM

Hope you fel better when you wake up, jOhn.

I agree though, Nancy's pane should go on your next CD, KJ.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: sweetfire
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 04:08 AM

mmmm...well, ok then john...i think choosing the disadvantaged hamster society of GB is a fantastis idea john....but never judge a book by it's cover; Oaky is alot more dangeous than he looks!!

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 03:44 AM

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 03:21 AM

i'm.,not,worrroied,about,mr,oaklet9
i,recon,he's,all,piss,and,wind]
but,them,other,2,are,a,bit,taller,than,me
so,we'lll,haf,to,sew.,how,it,goies

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 03:13 AM

Having,a,quick,look,around=
I,reckon,the,nearest,ones,are,[probly]
Oaklet,raggytash,and,Skipjack
ie,nearest,ones,to,my,fighting-weight.
we,could,raise,some,,money,for.,the-
disadvantedged-hamster,society,of,great,brittain
or,simialer,waht,you,think?

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 03:00 AM

anyway-i,goy,anidea,[no,auctionmor,shit,lijke,that,=
just,gibe,mudcsat,10quid,
and,give,me,some,guitar,money
then,eberym,bodymhappy].
you,can,see,it,amd,even,play,it,if,yoo,like
just,ring,me,up=348448

but,if,you,try,to,rip,me,off,
just.wathch,it,then
[i,useed,to,do,boxing,in,the,army
[it,was,callled,milling,then]
i,think,that,colin,thomsom,been,imn,army,as,,wwell
probly,a,boxer,i,doint,knoew,really]

anyway,one,day,i,had,a,fight.,9boxing,match]
with,them,CSM,[sergeant,grice],I,busted,his,face,big,style!
he,thought,he,would,show,me,how.,to."mill"
he,said,",i,was,just,warmin,up"
i,said,"warming,up,me,arse,yer,full,of,shit"
ps,CSM=Cumpany,sergeant,major."

anyway,i,was,sposed,to,win,a,trophy,But]
i,never,got,it,for,d
some,reason,or,other
another,fuicking,con=you,can,
beat,up,who,yoi,like,unless,he's,a.rank,or,so,above,you
them,its,called,a,draw!

anyone,fancy,a,scrap?
we,go,halves,on,the,trophy,and,50quid,in,the,pot.john.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 02:19 AM

der,de,der,de,derldy,der,de.nancy's,pane
9louder),derl,de,derl,di,de,di.de,nancy's,pane.

nicew,s9ong[theymshuldptuiung,iymomtheyr,necxyt,cd,.john.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 02:10 AM

if,you,loke,to,buymmy,guiiitar,them,just,tell,me
if,you,give,more,thane,100,quid,then,i,give,10,to,mudcat,pimgivem,,it,to,bull,sabels,in,cash,[banjk,smare,a,big,rip,off[.
you,shoukde,give,me,mimiuimum,50,quid,
any,lees,hen,that=you,can,fuick,off.
its,a,good,guitar,
you,can,seee.it.or,ring,me,up-
348448
.john

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 02:02 AM

anyway-I,took,my,giutar
i,am,really,skinty,now,so,i,took,my,guitar,to,cash,converterss
and,they,said,20.quid.
i,said",piss,off.,this,is,200,quid,guitar,you,talking,about!
and,i,ask,about,borring,money,with,my.,guitar,as,a.deposit
they,only,lend,me,20,quid!,
i,walkied,out,and,sead,piss,of,-you,dont,knoew,about,guitars.
cash,conbersters,is,ma,big,rip,off.
i,sooner,sell,it,to,one,of,my,frends,or,somebobey,that,played,it
like,pete,or,harpmaketr,or,smallpliers
ps,its,a.,good,guitar,and,they,all,played,it
i,only,sell,it,cos,,.,im,skint,
but,if,you,saay,20,qwuid,then,piss,off,!.-0(
musyt,be,at,least,50,qwuid,9.its,200.quid,in,the,guitar,ship}
so,dont,bloody,try,to,rip,me,,off,the,n,.john

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Jul 03 - 01:47 AM

ps.it,dd,get,detleted[penemazul9jeff[9just,told,me[[
ps,and,what,about,the,mhunman,mrights,mact,thrn
[freeedoum,of,expruson,etc]

anyway=nanys,pane.goes,like,this=
2,and,everywere,i,wonderr,
der,de.der,der.,der,de.der
der,de,der,de,derlly.der,nancy's,pane.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 11:08 PM

dr,macfee,is,crap,at,looking,at,ears,
and,doesent,bothered,about,ears,etc.
he,probly,int,a,proper,doctor,as,well.
singed,-your'es,faithfully,etc
john,evans,9john,from,hull}

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 11:02 PM

hello,i,put,sumethhing,jhere.,but,its,gone
i,not,sure,if,i,perrsed,,the,wrong,bitton,button
or,it,get,delted,
im'm,a,bit,piissed,[so,i,cant,rember,awaht,i,put]
maybe,i,put",dr,macfeehepie,is,an,srsholre"/
?"?,if,i,puy,that,i,think,it,might,get,delted,again,i,dont,know
if,you,see,amy,emty,messages,,from,me,then,thsts,why.
.john

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 10:43 PM

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 10:15 PM

ps,he,just,looked,at,my,ear,with,a,little,torch,thing.
any,body,could,do,that!
i,bet,he,got,5,quid,for,that,.
[i,heard,that,doctors,get,5,quid,every,time,they,look,at,you
bloody,rip,off.]
so,now,i,decided,=even,if,i,get,really,ill
i,wont,go.
its,a,big,con.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 10:09 PM

hEloo,i,dident,ex-plane,it,properley=
i,woke,up,and,my,hed,was,hanging,off,the,edge,of,the,bed
it,still,hurts,in,my,neck
i,think,it's.a,trapped,nerbe,or,something.
i,wont,go,to,doctors,though,as,he,is,crap=
he,dident,fix,my,ear,he,saidd,2,theres,nowt,rong,with,it"
BUT,i,been,deaf,in,my,ear,for,ages-
this,shuold,be,in,my,doctor,notes,
i,bet,he,just,couldent,be,arsed,to,read,them!
I,thought,about,sooing,him,but,i,cant,be,arsed.
anyway,my,house,smells,of,dead,animals=
i,think,its,the,hot,weather,why.

KJ-are,you,the,singing,womun,from,the,sloup?
if,so,i,like,that,song,called,Nancy's-Pane
its,really,good,you,should,put,it,on,your,next,cd
i,would,by,it,straight,away.
ps,my,doctor,is,scottish,,he,called,Dr,Macfee
9im,not,sure,if,thats,hoe,yoo,spell,it
it,might,be,Mcphee,not,sure.
but,if,he,is,not,bothered,about,my,ear,
why,doesent,he,piss,off,back,to,scotland,then?
im,noy,even,going,to,put,allegidley,because,its,troo
you,can,ask,him,if,youi,like.john

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: KJ
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 06:42 PM

Simple; 1) Soak overnight in cold water
       2) Rub in well the white of an egg in half a pint of guiness
       3) Soak overnight
       4) Wipe with a vinegar soaked soft cotton cloth
       5) Soak overnight
       6) Wash on the synthetics cycle of wahing machine
       7) Leave to dry for 48 hours
       8) Bring back the original sheen with a nut oil
       9) Don't play the dulcimer whilst drinking a bottle of
          tomato ketchup!

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Oaklet
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 02:31 PM

For God's sake, this is a music site, set up for those with an interest in folk music in order that it can be used as a resourse. To rescue the job, I'd like to pose a musical question if that's ok with you lot:

Does anyone know how to remove ketchup stains from a dulcimer?

There.

Or should I start a new thread?

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: KJ
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 02:25 PM

It could sort of pootle along the ground with Oakley at the helm wearing his pilots uniform & an attitude of derring-do - & the toothbrushes could clean the road. I hope jOhn's head is fixed back on.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Noreen
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 01:31 PM

That might produce interesting effects, Karen, but I seem to remember that methane is heavier than air so this toothbrush construction would never get off the ground.

Shame- seemed so promising otherwise

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 10:31 AM

J9h0n
Maybe the one-armed window-cleaner could sort out the big pane in your neck!

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: KJ
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 09:31 AM

You could use the methane from the coos to fill it.Will you be piloting Oaklet?

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 08:37 AM

and will our smiles be whiter when it does?

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Noreen
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 07:54 AM

Will it fly?

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Oaklet
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 07:05 AM

Just thought I'd let you know that the bloke next door (2 doors away from Mrs Drinkall at no 21) is making a full size replica of the Hindenburg out of old toothbrushes.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: KJ
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 06:56 AM

John, don't eat the rice crispies!!! If your head's hanging off they won't go down into your tummy,they'll spill out onto the floor & then all the ants for miles around will come for a free lunch.It WAS Colin Thompson by the way!

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 04:17 AM

ps.there,not,proper,rice-crispies,
they,are,from,asda,its,cheeper.john

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 04:11 AM

Hello,i,have,just,woke,up,and,my,head,has,hanging,off.
now,i,have,got,a,big,pane,in,my,neck.
i,will,have,some,rice,crispies,now.
its,a,nice,,day.
good,morning.john

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Raggytash
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 04:04 AM

What Colin Thompson is a one armed window cleaner, Great, I'll apply for the job ..........always wanted to be a wringer out for a one armed window cleaner

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Oaklet
Date: 13 Jul 03 - 03:30 AM

It was Colin Thompson.

Subject: RE: PTH July Installment
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Jul 03 - 09:40 PM

who,are,you,GUESt?,are,you,local?
anyway=why,do,Brough,people,always,order,thier,curry,late?
they,think,they,bloody,great,just,cos,they,live,in,Brough!
basturds.