Song Challenge! - Part 55

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 01 - 12:14 AM

LOL!!! What imagery!!! I'm ROTFLMAO!!! You are WHAN HOOOOT GG!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: Áine
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 11:08 PM

Here's the humble offering of TGG -- no sniggering now, I worked really hard on this ;-) (oh, go ahead . . . ) -- One point of clarification for you younger 'Catters, however; the 'bright white Maria' (pronouned 'mah-rye-uh') is a not-so-veiled reference to the 'Black Maria', which was a term that was used (at least here in Texas) for the 'paddy wagon' or the vehicle in which one was hauled off the to hoosgow (read 'jail').

I hope all of you like this rare venture of mine into the realms of genius in which my dear Challenge!rs rule completely . . .

Whoopee Tie Him Up
(Tune: Whoopee Ti Yi Yo)

The alarm went off in the firehouse that mornin',
So the fellas and I rolled the ladder truck out,
'27' the code, a nut on a rooftop,
It was business as usual, without a doubt.

And what to our wondrin' eyes should appear,
When we pulled up close to the hospital wall,
But a baldin' Long Ranger, as nekid as noon,
Swingin' two stethascopes and having a ball!

Chorus:
Whoopee tie him up, come along Dr. Cowboy,
They're haulin' your spittoons right outa the door,
Whoopee tie him up, come along Dr. Cowboy,
The shrink and his hypo are rarin' to go!

Well, we spread out the jump net and cranked up the ladder,
Played 'scissors and stone' to see who'd go this time,
Wouldn't ya know, I lost the last round, so
I pulled up my boots and I started to climb.

It was when I reached the top of the ladder,
I saw a sight that I cannot forget,
There was Dr. Testa, the famous brain surgeon,
A real 'Looney Tune', I was willin' to bet.

Whoopee tie him up, come along Dr. Cowboy,
They're haulin' your spittoons right outa the door,
Whoopee tie him up, come along Dr. Cowboy,
The shrink and his hypo are rarin' to go!

He aimed his six shootin' stethascopes right at me,
Pulled 'em outa his holster, held up by his paunch,
The nurses there cringed when he raised his bandana,
And puckered, his next spew of 'backy to launch.

'Hold on there, Cowboy,' I said to him slowly,
'I got sumpin' here that you just might enjoy,'
With tremblin' hands and a dribblin' mustache,
He took my can of Red Man like it was a toy.

Whoopee tie him up, come along Dr. Cowboy,
They're haulin' your spittoons right outa the door,
Whoopee tie him up, come along Dr. Cowboy,
The shrink and his hypo are rarin' to go!

We climbed down that ladder, the bestest of buddies,
Though the view of his rump put me straight off my lunch,
I waved as he rode off in the bright white Maria,
And he grinned as the dip of my chaw he still munched.

Well, I never did hear what became of the Doctor,
'Yosemite Sam', compleat in the raw,
I still think of him kindly, that OR Lone Ranger,
And hope that he's gettin' his share of good chaw.

Whoopee tie him up, come along Dr. Cowboy,
They're haulin' your spittoons right outa the door,
Whoopee tie him up, come along Dr. Cowboy,
The shrink and his hypo are rarin' to go!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 06:22 PM

Dear Aine, if you tell me it's legit, it's legit!!!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: GUEST,sorry Monty Python
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 05:42 PM

I never wanted to do this job in the first place!
I... I wanted to be... A Surgeon (piano vamp)
Running from bed to bed! As we go on our morning rounds in the hospitals of Indianna. With the staff nurse by my side. The Gallstone, The Traciotemy, The Mighty Heart Transplant, The Hangnail and The Sex change operation. We'd sing! Sing! SING!

Oh I'm a Surgeon and I'm ok.
I work all night and I work all day

Chorus:
He's a Surgeon and He's ok.
He works all night and he works all day
I prep patients, I eat my lunch and I do surgery,
I wear's my boots while cutting,
and Quick draw when you shout three.

He preps patients, He eat his lunch and he does surgery,
He wear's his boots while cutting,
and Quick draws when you shout three

Chorus:
He's a Surgeon and He's ok.
He works all night and he works all day
I prep patients, I struts me stuff, I like to play quick draw,
I put on cowboy clothing,
and scrub for surgery.

He preps patients, He struts his stuff, He likes to play quick draw,
He put on cowboy clothing,
and scrubs for surgery.?

Chorus:
He's a Surgeon and He's ok.
He works all night and he works all day
I prep patients, I wear a mask, bandanna and a gun,
I spit when I am cutting
just like my dear papa.

He preps patients, He wears a mask, bandanna and a gun.
He spits when he is cutting??

Whats this spit while cutting

Oh My and i thought you were just gung ho, Cowboy!!

Chorus
He's a surgeon and he away . . .

NO comment from today

line breaks fixed by mudelf ;-)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: Áine
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 03:08 PM

Dear DaveO and all my darlin' Challenge!rs -- I swear on all things green that this is a legitimate news story that I found on a legitimate news service . . . really . . .

-- Áine

(now quit laughing, dang it . . . no, really, really, I did , , , ;-))

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: MMario
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 02:50 PM

oh heck, Dave, who cares if it's true if we can get some good songs out of it? or even some funny ones?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 02:49 PM

Sorry to be a spoilsport, but somehow this story didn't strike me as having too much credibility. I let my fingers do the walking

There are some Testas in the Indianapolis alphabetical phone book, but no Nick or Nicholas. All right, he might have an unlisted number.

The Yellow Section under Physicians and Surgeons, MD & DO, shows no Testas.

There _IS_ a Midwest Medical Center, but it is an occupational health type facility, and as such I wonder if they are too likely to have an intensive care facility. Maybe.

But that Lone Ranger mask sounds phoney to me. The whole thing sounds like too much of "a good story".

The old curmudeon, Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: Áine
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 02:44 PM

Yee-haw, DB!! A fantastic first entry for this one ;-)

Here's your S.B.L.O.B. for:

Instead of a gown, he wore a vest with a tin star,
On his side was a holster that he put his stethoscope in,
My concern was aroused when I looked behind his bandana,
& Saw that brown gooey liquid dribbling off of his chin.

Way to go! -- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: MMario
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 02:44 PM

tough act to follow, too!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 02:27 PM

LOL!! Good shew DB, good shew!! -- only an hour from post to first finish!! Purdy good!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: Dharmabum
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 01:11 PM

MAMAS DON'T LET YOUR COWBOYS GROW UP TO BE SURGEONS

I went to the O.R.to have them do a procedure,
I laid on the table,they tried to gimme some gas,
But when I saw the look on the face of the surgeon,
I got up & ran I said "No thanks I think I will pass."

Instead of a gown, he wore a vest with a tin star,
On his side was a holster that he put his stethoscope in,
My concern was aroused when I looked behind his bandana,
& Saw that brown gooey liquid dribbling off of his chin.

(chorus)
Mams don't let your cowboys grow up to be surgeons,
Don't let 'em use scalpels & surgical stuff,
While chewin tabacky & snortin their snuff,
Mamas don't let your cowboys grow up to be surgeons,
Mak'em poke cows & drive pickup trucks,
They shouldn't drive Jags & Beemers & such.

He walked in the O.R his spurs was jingle & janglin,
On top of his head he wore a ten gallon hat,
His pants were all shiny from years of ridin the saddle,
While spinning his lasso he said"Now,where's my patient at."

The air had filled up with the odor of equine distinction,
His handlebar moustache barely would fit through the door,
I knew I must run,I knew my life was in danger,
When he lifted his mask & spit out his chaw on the floor.

(chorus)
Mamas don't let your cowboys grow up to be surgeons,
Don't let'em use scalpels & surgical stuff,
While chewin tabacky & snortin their snuff,
Mamas don't let you cowboys grow up to be surgeons,
Mak'em poke cows & drive pickup trucks,
They shouldn't drive Jags & Beemers & such.

DB.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 12:23 PM

Hank Wangford should definitely hear of this one...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 10:47 AM

Hardiman will be especially interested in the idea of setting up spittoons in various locations.... thanks for the tip! Duh, SPITTOONS! Why, that oughtta make things MUCH better around the house, too!

~S~

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55
From: Áine
Date: 17 Jun 01 - 09:59 AM

Alrightey, Challenge!rs, here we go again -- We put on our red Keds and blue overalls for the last Challenge!; but, for this one, we're scrubbing up, tying on green gowns, slipping on the paper booties, and sticking a can of Skoll in our jeans pockets . . .

He's A Long, Tall Surgeon -- (Indianapolis, IN) A spokesperson for the MidWest Medical Center announced today that the hospital would remove all spittoons from its surgical intensive care unit, following complaints by patients.

"This has all been a colossal misunderstanding, and we want to put it behind us", said hospital spokesman Henry O'Toole. According to O'Toole, the 19th century-style saliva receptacles had been placed in the intensive care unit by Dr. Nick Testa, a staff surgeon.

Anonymous sources within the hospital described Dr. Testa's reputation as a surgical "cowboy", a part he had increasingly tried to play to the maximum.

"First people were just referring to him as a 'cowboy' because he basically took anyone to the OR, no matter what their problem was", said the source. "Then about five years ago, he started wearing hand-tooled cowboy boots...OK, lots of surgeons do that."

Apparently several staff were upset when Dr. Testa tried last month to operate on a patient wearing a Lone Ranger style mask, after earlier wearing a bandana pulled up over his handlebar moustache, instead of a standard surgical mask.

"He was just yelling: 'This IS my mask, this IS my mask', when they tried to get him out of the OR", according to Sally Stevens, a MidWestern scrub nurse.

Many staff members regarded as amusing Testa's practice of carrying his stethoscope in a holster, drawing it with a rapid motion when he intended to examine a patient. However, when Testa brought three large brass spittoons into the surgical intensive care unit, patients and their families began to complain.

Testa's habit of chewing tobacco and spitting towards the spittoons reportedly became increasingly disruptive to intensive care unit staff, who frequently had to change intravenous lines and dressings when Testa missed his mark.

According to O'Toole, Dr. Testa is currently on vacation in Montana, and so is unavailable for comment.

Go For It, Challenge!rs!!

-- Áine