BS: drug addiction and family/home destroyed

Subject: RE: BS: drug addiction and family/home destroyed
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 06:35 PM

"Not nearly so easy to get out of it."
Anybody can break a promise... It takes a lawyer to break a vow!

"a mere thimblefull of water over big pile of embers"
Your mistake is thinking that it's your fire to put out....

" There is, I am afraid, no such thing as kicking her out altogether."
Then maybe the law is different over there.... Too bad... You aughta lobby to have it changed.

"plea for sanity"
In this world?!?! See above re: Ducks meowing....

Subject: RE: BS: drug addiction and family/home destroyed
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 06:33 PM

If you want your daughter to see her mother then go for supervised contact. I don't want to sound patronising as I am sure you know all about the option. But for those who don't - you drop your child off at a 'contact centre', where professionals sit in and observe discreetly.

The centres (to a two year old) just look like a huge playroom. There are toys and juice and parents playing happily, but more importantly safely.

You don't have to stay, so mother and daughter do get time 'alone' together. Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: drug addiction and family/home destroyed
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 06:23 PM

sorry to disappoint - at least she would then have some redeeming feature.

Subject: RE: BS: drug addiction and family/home destroyed
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 06:22 PM

this woman wouldn't be a famous singer would she ?

Subject: RE: BS: drug addiction and family/home destroyed
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 06:16 PM

Clinton

I hear you.

I understand more than my post lets on. The desiderata of which you speak is relevant, true and wise but is as a mere thimblefull of water over big pile of embers.

Some posts express wisdom, others the heart and it's ever unanswered plea for sanity. This one is of the latter type.

The arrangement as it stands is an interim one with a final hearing due in november.

There is, I am afraid, no such thing as kicking her out altogether. I do intend to try and reduce propensity for harm as much as humanly possible though.

I'll throw in a few more details as I calm down :-)

Subject: RE: BS: drug addiction and family/home destroyed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 06:11 PM

It's easy to get into a relationship (or marriage). Not nearly so easy to get out of it. Believe me, I know about that...have had a couple of experiences myself along that sort of line, but not quite as extreme as yours, lox. Thankfully! But reasonably close.

Subject: RE: BS: drug addiction and family/home destroyed
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 06:06 PM

"you were supposed to be responsible for her for an hour"
One doesn't expect a duck to meow, does one? Whey expect a drug addict to be responsible?? The failling is yours, for expecting and outcome that you knew was pure fiction from the beginning....

" I live in a constant state of simmering rage that someone could be so heartless and selfish."
Sounds to me like YOU need to take a good long read of the Serenity Prayer.... YOU can't change HER.... Wrap your head around that...


"I don't understand how someone can be so stubborn and cruel and also have such a desire for sympathy"
Then you don't understand thing one about addiction....

"Me finally getting the protection of the courts"
Why not fight to have her kicked out of your (And your daughters) life all together?!?! You'd all be better off for it...

"some mothers don't deserve their kids"
D'uh....   This is news???

Subject: RE: BS: drug addiction and family/home destroyed
From: Mr Red
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 05:57 PM

when I hear people explaining that drugs should be made legal but controlled I do wonder that those people ever hear these kind of stories. Sure the are told but do they hear?

Subject: BS: drug addiction and family/home destroyed
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 05:45 PM

Has anyone been through this kind of scenario?

The drug in question is amphetamine.

More specifically, my ex partner (girlfriend) appears to have a personality disoder (narcissistic/borderline/antisocial)

We have a brilliant and beautiful 2 year old daughter who I fortunately have custody of.

The best way to describe my life until my ex moved out is that it was like the 3 of us were in a car with my ex driving, only she was blindfolded and burning down the road at 150 MPH whilst chugging at a bottle of whiskey.

I had our daughter on our knee and would say "you're going too fast" but she would tell me to stop criticizing her and hit the throttle even harder.

Me finally getting the protection of the courts (and believe me in the English legal system this is no mean feat and reqires focus, a hard chin, a willingness to take the blows and sacrifice everything) was like creating a protective bubble around myself and my daughter so my ex could crash if she wanted to but we would be safe.

She still hasn't learned though.

She's still shagging the men, still doing the drugs, still feeling sorry for herself.

But more worrying, the last time it was her turn to have our little girl around to give her her evening meal, she took her to her dealers instead.

She got back way after bedtime and little girl had a really sore bottom because her nappy was full and it was obvious that nobody had bothered to change it for at least an hour.

A million and one excuses for every thing from "the taxi was late" to "there was no credit on my phone" to "it was a different steve" to "But I didn't have any nappies".

Why the fuck not - you were supposed to be responsible for her for an hour - you are her mother - you should have been prepared or left early (or in this case maybe on time instead of an hour late would have done)

It is heartbreaking to watch the future prospects of a child crumble before she has a chance to even know what "opportunity" means.

I live in a constant state of simmering rage that someone could be so heartless and selfish. I don't understand how someone can be so stubborn and cruel and also have such a desire for sympathy.

RAAAAAGHHHH!!!!

Sorry, but some mothers don't deserve their kids.