Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 01:55 PM

Posted this up on BBQ tnread first, then realised it belonged here (Cut & Paste):

After hearing a bunch of the wimmin at Lindas BBQ singing 'Drink to the Men', I'm thinking of raising the bar regards colourful songs for the lasses.

So, if we have a Strumpet, a Doxy and and a pox ridden Hussy hanging around this rat infested midden (Essex Slapper is taken), would they kindly present (fishnet stockings and peep-hole frillies optional...)?
Anyone fancy having a go at The Four Old Whores of Baltimore?
One verse a piece, and shared chorus. So who's up ferret? Holds breath........... ;-)

Couple of YouTubes for the tune here:

Four Old Whores of Baltimore (I love this version)
Four Old Whores

Lyrics:

Four Old Whores

There were four old whores from Baltimore
Drinking beer and wine.
The topic of conversation was
"Mine is bigger than thine.'

cho: Roly, poly, tickle my hole-y,
    Smell of my slimy slough.
    Then drag your nuts across my guts,
    I'm one of the whorey crew.

The first old whore from Baltimore said,
"Mine's as big as the air.
The birds fly in, the birds fly out,
And never touch a hair."

The second old whore from Baltimore said,
"Mine's as big as the moon.
The men jump in, the men jump out,
And never touch the womb."

The third old whore from Baltimore said,
"Mine's as big as the sea.
The ships sail in, the ships sail out,
And leave their rigging free."

The fourth old whore from Baltimore said,
"Mine's the biggest of all.
A man went up in the springtime,
And didn't come out till fall."

If anyone fancies, I'll print lyric sheets up. We could practice Saturday and do it Sunday?

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: GUEST,John Ravens News Round Animal folk News
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 01:41 PM

I can this evening confirm that Raynard The Fox has been found dead and His body removed from the base of a Air Shalft in Knockholt Chalk Mine.
In the mean time Folk Animal Police Flying Squad Officers carried out a Dawn Swoop on a Chicken Coop in Upper Stoke.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: GUEST,Grimms Brother's News
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 10:55 AM

Breaking News:

Fox reported to be Reynard found dead. Chicken in Upper Stoke to be questioned.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 10:38 AM

"You will be alright Ginger Raynard The Fox is dead . He fell down a Mine shaft in Knockholt . Police have for the last two days been looking into it while Fire fighters are still trying to get to the bottom of it.."

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: GUEST,Ginger the Chicken
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 09:55 AM

I pwotest. I am Ginger The Chick not Ginger The Beer.

I too have heard that this gay fing is not hexcloosiv t'peeps, but I not gay I am a normal chick laydee. In feer ov my lyfe I not go to dis Knock Holt place.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 09:44 AM

He also for some unknown reason got two black eyes from the glancing blow and looked like a Panda.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 09:26 AM

Richard its not just hear say.
Chickens are like Cows, not wishing to be rude at all "They go all Lesbo if there is not any "Cock or Bull around"? thats true. Ask your Vet.

When I was at reform school we were taken to a Educational Farm in East Sussex and while we stood among the cows one mounted another 'have you ever seen a cow on two legs there enormous well the cow underneath run off and the cow on top came crashing down and nearly pole axed my friend Spencer. He had to be carried from the field and taken to
East Grinsted Hospital he survived the episode with a bout of delayed concussion.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: GUEST,Ginger the Chicken
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 09:02 AM

Kwyte ryte I still here and "mate" meens fwend. Mista B is ryte. He wun clevva chap!

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 04:04 AM

Surely Sooty is a friend not a mate, unless they are odd chickens?

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 03:11 AM

Foxes are liars as well as thieves and murderers.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Kev The Clogs
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 02:32 AM

Reports of Ginger's death are premature - she and her mate Sooty were waddling about in Dilligaf's garden this morning :-)

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 09:03 PM

200

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: GUEST,Girl Friday
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 07:10 PM

Oh no I didn't!!!! I had Morrison's best beef steak. Len and me can't abide chicken - we think it's fowl!!!

However, methinks I'll get my gun and shoot that bl****y fox!

Ginger, are you really dead? Say it isn't so.....

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 06:55 PM

Hungry now Raynard?

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: GUEST,Raynard The Fox
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 06:27 PM

"Gingers Clucked it" She,s Dead and Gone to that great Chicken Coop in the sky. Girl Friday You all ate her this afternoon at Essex Girls.BBQ. Ha Ha Ha Ha Hee Ha

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 06:19 PM

I Cant abide Couscous to Bland and has for chick peas,Yuk I much prefere Rice and you can dye rice with food colouring so if you have say "A Jamacian Night you can have Red,Gold,Green,Rice. or a Japanese night you can have plain White rice with a big red blob in the middle.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Girl Friday
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 05:50 PM

I tried to cook couscous once. It was all lumpy and coagulated - and tasted of nothing in particular, but the lamb tagine sounds lovely. My only reservation is "Should Richard be eating his girl friend?

I shall be serving my usual Chinese stir-fry pork and rice.

Absolutely no chicken ! Ginger is safe from me at least.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 05:43 PM

I will be going to Knockers Stright from work Wednesday Morning should be there for 9.30 depends what time the first R5 bus leaves Orpington. This is all thanks to Essex Girl who has kindly offered to take my guitar and cooking gear down to knockholt Wednesday evening. All I have to bring back is the Guitar the cooking stuff is all Throw away.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Mick Woods
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 07:14 AM

Sucu Sucu by my heros, Nina & Fred got to 23 in the UK charts in 1961.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 03:56 AM

Cous Cous is extremely easy to do when catering in bulk - I've done it in kitchens for lots of peeps (or indeed just one or two - I use it all the time when camping).
Just buy a couple of bags of the stuff (depending how many you plan to feed) - shove it in a big pot with a veggie stock cube or two and a good dollop of olive oil.
Then *just cover* with boiling water. Leave it *off* the heat. It'll swell by itself. Easy peasy. A little bit of lemon juice and a couple cans of chickpeas are quite nice to add too.

Not the proper steaming way - but great for easy outdoors feeding.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 03:36 AM

Oh well. Forget cous-cous. I'm sure someone will be able to do rice...

Or we can buy nice bread - I'm no great fan of Morrocan bread either.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: The Barden of England
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 03:12 AM

Not getting there until friday afternoon Richard - and I can't say I like couscous much either. I live tagine though.
John Barden

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 08:34 PM

No, it's an anagram of a Nina and Frederick hit

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Kev The Clogs
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 07:51 PM

Dilligaf says is that a folk song or a pidgeon with a lisp!?

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 05:19 PM

When are you getting there John? Would you be able to do cous-cous? I am not good at it.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 04:43 PM

Two please. They should be dried but I'll see what I can achieve on Weds, although I am packing Weds night for an early start Thurs - it's going to be so good!

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Kev The Clogs
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 03:27 PM

I can get Scotch Bonnets in Sainsbury's in Oftford (near Knockholt). Can let you have some on Tuesday night RB when we are at the Six Bells, else you will have to wait 'til Friday evening. Will one packet be enough for you?

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 03:22 PM

A brisk Google shows Shakespeare writing of tankards of wine in "The Tempest" so I suspect that your neighbour aspires inaccurately to the haut-bourgeoisie.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 03:10 PM

Good Night.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 03:03 PM

Im cooking Leg of Lamb Maaaaaaaaaaaaa
By time you get on site Richard everything should be Tickadiboo .Re Lamb cooked.
VT. Re Cross threading Im confused.

Im wined up and smoked out Im going to bed. Summers Here.
My up stairs Neighbour the Jewess called me a Savage for drinking wine out of a Tankard.I was laid out in the garden "..Bloody Charming an it? Savage Indeed.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 01:30 PM

Try this: I can't get scotch bonnets either but I can probably improvise a Harissa using one of the above recipes with flaked dried chillis in stead - it may be a bit of a case of adding the Harissa bit by bit to avoid blowing eveyone to pieces!

here's a Tagine recipe from North Africa:

Lamb Tagine with Harissa Sauce


Ingredients

1 boned shoulder of lamb, cubed

1 onion, finely chopped

500g carrots, chopped

4 tbsp olive oil

1/2 tsp powdered cinnamon

3cm length ginger, grated

zest and juice of 1 lemon

1 tbsp coriander leaves

12 black olives

1 tbsp Harissa

salt and black pepper to taste

Method:

Put the oil in the base of a tagine, heat and gently fry the lamb until browned then add the onion and fry until translucent. Add the cinnamon, ginger and grated lemon zest and lemon juice. Add sufficient hot water to cover the contents of the tagine and season with salt and black pepper.



Bring to a boil, add the lid and cook for 1 hour before adding the carrots, coriander and the harissa. Cook gently for 45 minutes then add the olives.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 10:03 AM

What kinda veg you want, Sugah? They won't be arriving until Saturday midday though.

Anyway, I thought we might bring:

Large baking potatoes (split with thick slice of onion, cracked black pepper and pat of butter inside, wrapped in foil) to put in the fire.

Yams as above but decorated with butter and cinnamon.

Corn cobettes again.

And marinade peppers, onions, mushrooms to skewer and grill.

2 different marinades = Satay and Mexican salsa with lime and taco seasoning.

I love Dill and lime. For tomorrow, I am bringing a pasta salad with colourful peppers, cucumbers, vitorrio tomatoes in a lime and dill salad dressing.

Oops wrong thread.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 09:34 AM

I will bring loads of herbs with me from my herb garden.

Parsley
Rosemary
Chives
Garlic Chives.
Coriander
Lemon Balm
Dill+ Lemons and Limes. Maybe the herbivores coming to knockholt might contribute some veg?

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 09:25 AM

When I asked for Scotch Bonnets in Sainsburys the women thought I was talking about a bloody Hat? Cant get the staff.

Well my version of the Moroccan Tangain is complete. I have been drilling and rigging up a Roast rest so the lamb wont sit on the bottom of the Woks and burn. My Sister popped in and wondered what the hell I was making When I told her it was my Version of a Moroccan Tangine she said" It looks more like a Alien Space Ship.

                                 ''They came from out of Space".
                                  "They were a most peculiar race "Were The hardons.


In all honesty the vessel is much similar to what I cooked Chicken in at Dilligafsxx a few weeks back.

Richard the base of the vessel is about quarter inch thick made up of three woks sitting in each other+a Roast rest and a Wok on top. Held together with 2 G Clamps. with a funnel sticking out the top.

Richard
Question Does the sauce go on top of the lamb toward final stages of cooking or do you just stick it on the side has a dip or does one spoon it over the sliced Lamb has one might with Chile sauce and a Kebab?.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 06:32 AM

Here's a recipe for the tagine cooking of shoulder of lamb. I suspect that if one uses a leg one wants to cook it gently until the meat falls off the bone - and that this recipe is designed for rather higher-heat oven cooking.

1 boned shoulder of lamb, cubed
1 onion, finely chopped
500g carrots, chopped
4 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp powdered cinnamon
3cm length ginger, grated
zest and juice of 1 lemon
1 tbsp coriander leaves
12 black olives
1 tbsp Harissa
salt and black pepper to taste






Tajin bei-Lham
(Lamb Tagine with Harissa Sauce) Preparation:


Method:
Put the oil in the base of a tagine, heat and gently fry the lamb until browned then add the onion and fry until translucent. Add the cinnamon, ginger and grated lemon zest and lemon juice. Add sufficient hot water to cover the contents of the tagine and season with salt and black pepper.

Bring to a boil, add the lid and cook for 1 hour before adding the carrots, coriander and the harissa. Cook gently for 45 minutes then add the olives.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 06:23 AM

Wevva loking pretty good - a spot of mizzle on Fri Night maybe but not a lot, otherwise luvverly from Thurs to Sun pm and it could be another of those "I don't want to go home" Sunday afternoons!!

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Kev The Clogs
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 05:39 AM

actually I was in Kidbrooke last night! Went to dinner with my Mum. Then to Upper Stoke. No - Pierre could teach me a thing or to about cake!

Check out the Aylesford thread by the way.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 06:13 PM

"He would have to have Bloody long arms Im in Kidbrooke he is in Middle Stroke.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 06:00 PM

Kev, did you give him any cake?

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 05:50 PM

Im In Co. Hear, ant. Good night folks

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 05:48 PM

Has i say cooking vessel sorted. ' Mend and Make do ? I can supply you with one if you want.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 05:43 PM

I Have lovely . Neighbors, He is Irish and she is Jewish. Blessed with a sense of humor?

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 05:39 PM

The Harissa is supposed to be made in advance. I will get the rest of the tagine recipe.

I think I have everything else (must check spice cupboard)   - but dried Scotch Bonnets in Strood - I might as well be asking for Dom Perignon or Kristal (or in fact the rather better and less vulgar Rene Lalou). I have ONE Scotch Bonnet in the fridge and it ain't enough and I have been racking my brains about how to create a thick-bottomed cast iron or earthenware pot the lid of which drains the condensate back into the food. I could have done it with a Chimnea and a thick bottomed saucepan, but my chimnea was nicked at the height of the scrap iron price boom!

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 05:37 PM

I ve had to much Wine and smoke Im going to bed.
But I did manage a hour guitar, much to the delight of the neighbors who thought they would introduce "The Broom Handle to the Ceiling" Need a lesson Re Keeping Time.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 05:29 PM

"We try to cater for most tastes. Your,ll want Carrot flavored Jelly Next" Bloody Parlarva.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 05:27 PM

Correction Pete

We are not there until Saturday.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 05:23 PM

VT you will not be there on the Thursday you are arriving Friday. This Parlarva is about the Thursday night feast and the menu for it? If you are going to Essex Girls B.B.Q., Then ask and folk will fill you in .

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 04:02 PM

We wish you could be there too, Al. Chris is vegetarian too. We will manage somehow.

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Abdul The Bul Bul
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 03:50 PM

Wish I was there although it don't sound very veggetarian.
El Al

Subject: RE: Knockholt - This Is Summer! - June 2009
From: Abdul The Bul Bul
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 03:49 PM

I've had too much wine and can't stopp laffin]

Al