BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Ebbie
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 11:37 PM

We'll appoint you head of an exploratory committee, Don. You collect the committee.

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Don Firth
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 11:24 PM

Gravity! Without gravity, we wouldn't drop things, things wouldn't fall on us, and we wouldn't fall and injure ourselves. Gravity's gotta go!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Ebbie
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 11:14 PM

"Nothing looks greener in the morning than a lawn made out of green cement, and you never have to mow it or fertilize it. You don't even have to drench it in costly weedkilling poisons" Litle Hawk

You are brilliant, oh feathered one. I have had an epiphany: We are green. Using concrete - and green concrete is a nice touch - we are sparing the world the weedkillers and fertilizers and other noxiousnesses that are currently getting into people's lungs and noses and/or seeping into our drinking water and our streams and oceans. We are brilliant, brilliant, I tell you.

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 09:32 PM

Ah hah! That would teach them a thing or two, wouldn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Sorcha
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 09:19 PM

With no clothes????

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 08:34 PM

How about legislating that everyone should wear name brand clothing, such as Ralph Lauren, Gap, Nike, etc...

Those wearing noname clothing could be placed in internment camps.

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Sorcha
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 08:11 PM

Astro Turf is almost as good. No water, weeding, mowing....but I like the concrete idea much better.


Hey, froggie, YOU were the one who said Soylent Green...we just said a 'pill'!

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 07:12 PM

Hear, hear! Nothing looks greener in the morning than a lawn made out of green cement, and you never have to mow it or fertilize it. You don't even have to drench it in costly weedkilling poisons. Think of the money you'll save in the long run.

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 07:11 PM

"concentrated food pills that are nice and clean and require no cooking...courtesy of a multi-billion dollar "instant food" business".

"Soylant green is made out of PEOPLE!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Ebbie
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 07:04 PM

You're so right, Sorcha. Paving the world or at least our share of it is the way to go. I've seen yards like that and the homeowners save SO much time.

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Sorcha
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 06:31 PM

I really like the last one, Hawkster! Just ONE pill a day!!! And of course it will be individually programmed to have all our Personal Needs in it....antibiotics, antacids, anti depressants, ALL our prescriptions in just ONE pill with our daily caloric food intake! And a LOT less POOP!

I like it! I really really like it!!!!


(but do i really have to use the saved time to make more pizza? shouldn't even NEED pizza with the One Pill Program)
Maybe I could switch jobs and pour concrete instead. That really seems like a Comer in the Job Field. Pave the World!

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 06:23 PM

There's also dirt. Dirt is dirty. Matter of fact, it's filthy. This was touched on previously in someone's comments about vegetables. We need to get rid of all dirt and replace it with hydroponic tanks in completely dirt-free installations. Or...maybe we could avoid all that and instead come up with concentrated food pills that are nice and clean and require no cooking...courtesy of a multi-billion dollar "instant food" business. Fast food will be replaced by instant food...just one pill a day! No cooking, no waiting, no dirty dishes (yuck!), and almost no excrement afterward either!

Definitely the way to go. Make it one concentrated pill a day with a glass of artificially sweetened diet soft drink and think of the TIME you will save...time which can be devoted to working harder and becoming even more SUCCESSFUL!!!

Wow, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 06:15 PM

Foreigners! They're a threat to our way of life. They enter our country illegally and they launch suicide attacks. They threaten our jobs. Some of them don't speak English, and many of the men have facial hair (unhygeinice, primitive, and disgusting!). They hate people who aren't like them and who don't share their cultural values. Such people simply cannot be tolerated. We should find a way of getting rid of all such people ASAP...preferably a way that causes us as little inconvenience and unpleasantness as possible.

Long range high tech weapons are clearly the way to go on this. Either that or genetic or biological warfare of some kind. What you don't see and don't hear because it happens too far away can't inconvenience you, right?

Then too, we could just build a giant dome around US, the good people, and shut the rest of the world out forever, along with all those nasty bugs, animals, plants, bad weather, and bad smells...but...that would mean that we might miss out on something the rest of the world could still offer us which we could then make more money on.

That would not be good. To not exploit the exploitable when it's sitting out there in plain sight just waiting to be exploited would be unpatriotic and in denial of our highest and most noble purpose: an ever-expanding economy.

So let's just kill them all. The bad people, I mean. You know, the ones who aren't like us?

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Sorcha
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 05:59 PM

I say, BRING BACK THE DINOSAURS!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: theleveller
Date: 23 Apr 08 - 07:08 AM

Oh, brave new world that has such people in it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 09:09 PM

IF you want "clean", deleting people would reduce the production of turds by about 12 billion per day or thereabouts.

Think of the improvement.

(Grim sense of yewma)



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 07:49 PM

Yes?

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 06:42 PM

People.

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 06:40 PM

Air guitars are quieter. And cleaner.

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: pdq
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 06:36 PM

"Then they grow into children!!! Useless for about 15 years."

Then they get an electric guitar!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 06:36 PM

Taking notes, madly...

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Gurney
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 06:28 PM

Babies. Horrible, noisy little sods. They cause drinking interuptus, bonking carefulus, money shortus, and similar afflictions.
Noise coming out of one end, shit out of the other, and they are delivered without the plumbing completed, whick means nappies(diapers to Americans)to wash, or worse, trees cut down to make paper ones to fill landfill or leave in beauty spots.

Then they grow into children!!! Useless for about 15 years.

Bah, Humbug.

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Melissa
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 06:17 PM

Dirt, Ebbie. When it's dry, it's dust..when it's wet, it's mud.

Also, Synthetics.

Get rid of those pesky animals, bugs, dirt and synthetics and I think we'd find changes we didn't even anticipate!

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Sorcha
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 06:16 PM

I think we should ban plants. After all, a 'weed' is just a plant where you don't want it, and aren't we ALL just sooo tired of pullng weeds? Let's just pave over everything and give up plants!

Surely Science will come up with a way for us to survive on just air? Espcially if it has all that carbon in it from the vehicle exhausts! Gee, what a bunch of sissies we are.

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 06:10 PM

Sanor corpus sed insano menta.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: pdq
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 06:05 PM

God should recall people. A defective product.

Subject: RE: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 06:02 PM

I get to pick the people who inhabit this world.

Subject: BS: The Best - the CLEANEST- World Ever
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 05:38 PM

Another thread made me realize how much better our surroundings could be. If we just made a few little adjustments.

· We don't want bugs in our ideal world. So they've got to go, eradicated by any means necessary.
· We certainly don't want the nuisance droppings of companion pets. We've all had the experience of picking up something on our shoes- or even worse- on our toes and we certainly wouldn't wish that on our children or grandchildren. And the hair. And the dander. There would be far fewer allergens in our homes with those animals gone.
· Which, of course, means that in our ideal world we don't want those animals that through no fault of their own have been sharing our world. For that matter, who says we need companion animals in the first place? What, aren't fellow humans good enough? Let us solve the problem. Let us banish them.
· Birds too. They too have droppings (shudder; most of us have had the unhappy experience of ruined clothes, not even to mention the trauma that is part of it.
· Almost as displeasing as the presence of animal droppings are the odors attendant to the presence of other animals. Have you ever lived upwind of a pig farm? Or a chicken growing operation? Or a cattle barn? Or a horse barn, for that matter. These are smells that are not meant for the sophisticated nose of today's homo sapien.. It is far past time for us to resolve this problem.
· If we don't want those smells – and we most certainly do not- there is no choice on the matter. Those animals have to go.
· With those animals gone we will, ipso facto, be vegetarian, or more properly speaking, vegan. And that's OK. Especially if we are willing to pay someone else to do the grubbing for us. Because it is true that there is a lot of mud and mess that comes with the vegetable world (and dirt under our finger nails yuck) but if we buy the clean, sanitized, shrink-wrapped packs that miraculously show up on our store shelves we can avoid the worst of it.

Do you have any further improvements that come to mind? This is do-able, folks.