BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 21 Sep 08 - 09:46 PM

And one may get elected in the USA.

And another in the UK.

What the hell is wrong with people?

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Genie
Date: 21 Sep 08 - 01:11 AM

Ed, I've heard that one before -- but it's worth the retelling, because it's so TRUE!!! *g*

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Peace
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 07:45 PM

LOLOLOL

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 06:56 PM

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY

There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses!
I thought the results were pretty interesting:

85% of women think their ass is too fat...

10% of women think their ass is too skinny...

The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and
they would have married him anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Genie
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 02:57 AM

I think the headline should have been:
"Egyptian Gets Ass Thrown In Jail"


(Oh, and when I read the thread title, my first thought was, "Did Dubya make another trip to Egypt recently?)

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 10:29 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha!

I love Ambrose Bierce's keen and acerbic wit. He has nailed it perfectly.

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Joe_F
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 08:44 PM

TRIAL, n. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. In order to effect this purpose it is necessary to supply a contrast in the person of one who is called the defendant, the prisoner, or the accused. If the contrast is made sufficiently clear this person is made to undergo such an affliction as will give the virtuous gentlemen a comfortable sense of their immunity, added to that of their worth. In our day the accused is usually a human being, or a socialist, but in mediaeval times, animals, fishes, reptiles and insects were brought to trial. A beast that had taken human life, or practiced sorcery, was duly arrested, tried and, if condemned, put to death by the public executioner. Insects ravaging grain fields, orchards or vineyards were cited to appeal by counsel before a civil tribunal, and after testimony, argument and condemnation, if they continued _in contumaciam_ the matter was taken to a high ecclesiastical court, where they were solemnly excommunicated and anathematized. In a street of Toledo, some pigs that had wickedly run between the viceroy's legs, upsetting him, were arrested on a warrant, tried and punished. In Naples and ass was condemned to be burned at the stake, but the sentence appears not to have been executed. D'Addosio relates from the court records many trials of pigs, bulls, horses, cocks, dogs, goats, etc., greatly, it is believed, to the betterment of their conduct and morals. In 1451 a suit was brought against the leeches infesting some ponds about Berne, and the Bishop of Lausanne, instructed by the faculty of Heidelberg University, directed that some of "the aquatic worms" be brought before the local magistracy. This was done and the leeches, both present and absent, were ordered to leave the places that they had infested within three days on pain of incurring "the malediction of God." In the voluminous records of this _cause celebre_ nothing is found to show whether the offenders braved the punishment, or departed forthwith out of that inhospitable jurisdiction.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Ed T
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 06:38 PM

Not related....but...


A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day.

They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man right out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.

The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket which he offers to the dog.

A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"

The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: MartinRyan
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 01:26 PM

Now if it had been a goat... we could have avoided the B.S. tag!

Click here

Regards

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 01:11 PM

This is the kind of story that really makes "the news" worthwhile, in my opinion.

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 10:48 AM

We should take up a collection and bail the ass out!

No, that doesn't sound quite like the motion we want to present to the judge on second thought...

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: topical tom
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 10:44 AM

I didn't think it was GWB. The first name wasn't "Horse's".

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: kendall
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 09:53 AM

Me too

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Becca72
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 08:12 AM

I had the same thought Peace did...

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 07:37 AM

Wonder if the owner's name was Balaam? He couldn't shift his ass either.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 07:35 AM

On second thought, nevermind!

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 07:35 AM

NO Pat, tell us what happened to you???? hahahahah

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 07:09 AM

And we all know what happens to an ass in jail..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Peace
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 06:24 AM

Saw the title and thought, "But he's in Washington . . .".

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Paul Burke
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 06:14 AM

Fining the owner was over- reaction. They should have just told him to get his ass outa here.

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 05:25 AM

I like an arresting ass

Subject: RE: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Amergin
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 01:23 AM

That is slander! I was not in Egypt!

Subject: BS: Ass gets arrested in Egypt
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 01:11 AM

In tonight's news:

CAIRO (AFP) - An Egyptian donkey has been jailed for stealing corn on the cob from a field belonging to an agricultural research institute in the Nile Delta, local media reported on Thursday.

The ass and its owner were apprehended at a police checkpoint that had been set up after the institute's director complained that someone was stealing his crops, the state-owned Al-Ahram daily said.

The unnamed ungulate was found in possession of the institute's corn and a local judge sentenced him to 24 hours in prison. The man who had his ass thrown in jail got off with a fine of 50 Egyptian pounds (nine dollars, six euros).